City Lights ✓

Life

~*~

I still remembered the thing I've said to Radleigh. That people come and go, no one knows when and where, and that is what we call life.

And right now, I felt heavy. Heavier than usual, as I can now finally see Radleigh inside the casket and his body was cold, still and silent—it made us realize he is now really gone.

His face that used to be alive and colorful was now dim and dead. Hot tears welled up in my eyes now. I couldn't control all of those emotions that I had bottled up inside me when I heard the news that Radleigh was dead. I was so shocked and surprise, even though Asteria told me about the thing she saw. Everything was just getting too heavy, and everything just decided to explode right now.

Radleigh's wake was held inside this chapel. His only family was here, his father and brother, also with some family friends. All of us wearing the same color of clothes which is black.

"This is all my fault," Sharon cried when I sat beside her. Her eyes were puffy from crying since last night.

"Shhh," I cooed. "This is not your fault, Sharon. No ones at fault in here,"

Sharon been like this since we heard the news Radleigh killed himself. She was accusing herself about it, because she cheated and broke his heart that maybe made him sad and depress.

Oh, Radleigh, suicide is not the end. You are just passing to someone the pain.

Sharon wiped her tears with her hanky, shoulders shaking and trembling. I held her hand warmly. "Sharon, please promise me you won't think of that again, huh?" I said, voice sounded weary and low.

She just looked at me, seemed so unsure to agree on what I have said. Her eyes were red, so like her freckled cheek. I don't want her to stress herself, it's not good for her baby.

"Excuse me?" A sweet voice interrupted our conversation. My gaze averted at my back, where I heard the voice.

I met a pair of emerald-green eyes that could turn from warm to icy within the space of a millisecond, that matches her blond hair. She was prettier than the last time I saw her on the newspaper the other day and like Sharon, it seemed like she's been crying since.

"You are Lotus and Sharon, right?" She gave us a weak smile. "I am Cecilia, nice to meet you,"

We accepted her hand then shook it. Then it became quiet for a moment, that I felt kinda awkward. I was between Radleigh's ex-lover and his fiancée.

We were just looking at Radleigh's casket in a distant view, while others were also grieving.

"He used to tell me the two of you," Cecilia started to spoke, opening a conversation. "That's why I was so grateful Radleigh has friends like you,"

Sharon sobbed, as she look down, fiddling her fingers. Her baby bump was almost peaking.

"I know Sharon's his ex-lover," Cecilia added. Sharon looked up, meeting Cecilia's stares. I blinked when she held Sharon's hands. "I know you really love Radleigh, but I thank you for letting him go. Because if not, I won't met someone like him,"

"Cecilia," I whispered. She also held my hand, the atmosphere between the three of us was so gloomy.

We share the same emotion: sadness.

"I can't believe everything what was happening. I know Radleigh was having a hard time, but he said he'll try to work everything out between the two of us even though we were just arranged," Sharon and I were just staring at her, as her tears were started to roll on her cheeks one by one.

"Radleigh was the kind of person that you can see the soul easily. And in that short span of time we were together, I already knew him. He was just him, which made me fall in love," Cecilia's voice cracked, loneliness crept into her voice. "I-I promised myself I won't fall in love, but then I met him, I knew I screwed up."

"He was so easy to love, Cecilia," Sharon sniffed.

"Mostly when he smiles, he have this light aura that will spread into you," I said as I remembered our moments, when we danced against the music, the time when we waited until dawn in the cemetery and all our drunken and sober thoughts.

Especially when the first time I met him. He smiled that time to me. But right now, I failed. I failed to keep his precious smile.