City Lights ✓

Selfish

~*~

Frustration lingered into my veins, flowing like a river. The playful vibe of my apartment interior doesn't help with the kind of atmosphere I am having with Asteria.

"Y-you love him?" I was astounded at her confession to me, but my anger was more dominant. I clenched my jaw and fist. "So, you are telling me that you made my life a whirlwind just because of your selfish love?"

She shook her head and looked down, holding at her dress tightly. I knew it. I knew from the start that there was something about her. She always seemed mysterious, and right now I want to break that eeriness she have.

"Damn you, Asteria!" I scoffed, as I ran my fingers through my hair. "Didn't you thought of it? Your are screwing with time. Which is constant and inevitable!"

And she even told me that this is all her fault? Yes! This is really all her fault! She messed and played with us, especially me.

She looked up, now we share the same intensity of stares. "I don't care, Lotus. I don't freaking care about the time! I don't freaking care if the heavens will punish me for this!"

"Your selfish love really gets you, huh?"

"Selfish love?" Her voice was hoarse and low. "You call this selfish even though I broke the rules of everything just for him?"

"Isn't it what you call it?" I scoffed. "And you even used my naiveness and play me in your hands, huh?"

"Alright! I admit and I am so sorry that I used you. I used you for Radleigh, Lotus. I used you to change everything, but it seemed like I failed again,"

"You failed? Again?" I asked, eyebrows creasing.

The wind of the air blew inside. I shivered, not because of the cold night air that tickled my skin, but of the intensity of revelations I am hearing.

She bit her lower lip, as she fiddled her fingers. Why? Did she slipped on that one?

"I-I was that shooting star. T-That Radleigh wished for his mother," Tears started to form in her eyes, she wiped it hurriedly. She compose herself before speaking again. "And you know what, Lotus? I can't grant his wish. He wanted her mother to be cured, but I am just a star, not a God. I can't prevent peoples' time of death,"

"So, Radleigh knew you? He used to see you like I am to you, right now?"

She nodded. "Yes, we used to see and talk to each other like this. But everything came to an end, when he accepted I can't let her mother live. And that made me responsible for his sadness,"

I blinked. My mind became chaos with the questions I wanted to hear the answers.

"And you even said you can't prevent peoples' time. Aren't you manipulating it now?" I crossed my arms, batting her with my questions.

She walked back and forth. "Look, Lotus. I admit I did use you to become that aid when Radleigh experienced his break up, that would lead him to kill himself. And I thought I succeeded, because we already passed the time he will commit suicide,"

Something inside me churned. A thought flashed on my mind, Asteria told me that the events had changed, and I know because I am here. But would it be something went totally wrong?

"Like what I have told you, Radleigh said he will try everything with Cecilia. So, assume that he was giving himself a chance, and is that a thing to humans to commit suicide?" Asteria made a point, it added a mixtures of questions in my mind.

I felt tired for a moment. All these things I am hearing, It made me want to go home now. Home in my own time.

I became quiet for second, feeling the thick at atmosphere with me and Asteria. But I ignored everything for now, Instead I asked her a this, "When am I going to go home?"

She took a deep breath, eyes soften. I know she feels frustrated too but I don't care. I felt numb.

"After Radleigh's funeral, you will go home,"