I Need Memory (VIXX Ravi Fanfic)

Memory 1 | Love Is A Nightmare

RAVI'S POV:

I was holding onto that vehicle as though I was holding on to my own life.

Actually...

I WAS INDEED HOLDING ON TO MY LIFE.

SHE WAS MY LIFE!

And I wanted to save her no matter what. Even if it would cost my own life and soul, I couldn't bother less. I closed my eyes tight as my hands tried to tighten their grip on the vehicle. Although everything about reality was growing faint at that tragic moment and I can't seem to say anything, I still couldn't give up. My hands were bleeding and I was crying my heart out. Just like my eyes, the sky was also crying heavily and that only worsened the already muddy mountain cliff. Just then, I caught a glimpse of her head, turning around in my direction through the foggy windscreen. Her eyelids seemed almost closed in dizziness.

I screamed begging her to stay still because one wrong move could lead to the exact thing I was afraid to death of. That one terrifying thought that was grinding through the cracked ground of my broken heart. Though the blaring thunder was louder than my voice, and the striking lightning blinded my eyes, I still screamed my heart out because I wouldn't want to see myself without her even in a nightmare. However, she couldn't hear me, I guessed because she didn't stop at all.

Maybe she didn't know.

Or maybe she didn't bother anymore.​

Few seconds... Just a few more seconds before our eyes would have met for one time. Or shall I say, for one last time...

Right at that moment, my limbs went numb and I lost my grip. The jeep rolled off the cliff with a loud banging noise and my whole life along in it.

"ANDWAE! MIRA-YAH! JEBAL... JEBAL... ANDWAE..."

I fell onto my knees and cried louder.

And louder.

AND LOUDER.

But no one responded. The mountain was eerily quiet and lonesome, just like my own miserable heart and the sky was mercilessly piercing through my skin. She left while stepping on my pounding heart for her as I began crawling in hurry towards the now vacant cliff. My body was bruised up all over so badly, and that didn't ache at all, but the moment I realized that I've lost her for good, I felt my whole existence tremble in pain.

It felt as though someone had ripped my heart right out of my chest with hands burning like hell. It began to hurt so damn poignantly. So much that I thought I would die of the pain right away.

However, I didn't...

Even my own teardrops felt like boiling acid, as they burned down every inch of my face with misery and regret while I laid there lifelessly, crying out her name like a coward. My pleas died unanswered in the darkness of that stormy night.

And my entire life froze still in the pain of that very moment.

★  

"Wonshik-ah..."

"Andwae...jebal..."

"Mworago?? YAH KIM WONSHIK! IREONA!"

The familiar voice broke into my subconscious world and dragged me right out of the raw moment. Awareness of my whereabouts clicked in my senses, as I slowly opened my eyes but unfortunately, the pain of reality hit my soul at the same time as well. The very reality without her, which seemed like a dream where she kept running away, every single time. The room was in an awful silent mode and I found everyone staring at me. N hyung who was standing beside me approached nearer as I blinked away the remaining teardrops that were threatening to fall.