I Need Memory (VIXX Ravi Fanfic)

Memory 7 | A Brush Called Memories

RAVI'S POV:

After turning the VLive off, I laid there staring at the hotel ceiling in utter silence. A while ago, I wasn't even aware of 40 minutes flying by when I was doing the live stream with our fans. However, the very moment I was left all by myself, it began to feel as though the world had stopped spinning and the time was frozen still.

They said that our minds have the tendency to forget those who have left our sides as time passes by. We tend to forget their voice, their face and eventually their existence as well. Although deep down in my broken heart, I felt strongly enough that I would never be able to forget even her briefest glances, I was still frightened by the oddest possibility of it. With years moving by and the hectic workload in my head, I was afraid I might run out of her sacred essence that was left within my scarred soul.

Hence, I began spending a solid amount of time in solitude, only to think of her. During those times, I would desperately reminisce every single moment I spent with her, from the happiest to the saddest ones. Though I'm not a painter, I'd still hold onto a brush called my memories and draw out her face in my heart over and over again. That's why, on days like this, sometimes I would cry and sometimes I would also feel good. And through those yearning efforts of wanting to carry her presence in my own, I usually would end up composing serenades with sorrowful lyrics.

However, with Gia around, every usual habit seemed awfully haywire.

She has been haunting me since day one and because of her, I kept losing my rationale. Her walk, her talk, and everything from her face to her voice was nothing but a painful reminder of my past and it burned too badly to admit that I don't have those in my future anymore. And even if I try to snap out of that despair, in the end, I still break down in front of her. After a couple of days of successfully avoiding any sort of encounter with Kang Gia since Incheon, here I was, still thinking of her. I sighed at the failure of my pathetic attempt when my phone rang and Taekwoon hyung's name popped up.

"Hyung, what are you doing still awake?" I glanced at the digital clock on my nightstand and it indeed was later than his usual bedtime.

"Wonshik-ah, how are you feeling now?" Overwhelming concern was obvious in his soft voice.

Due to the sudden change in my behaviour since arrival, the hyungs began worrying about my well-being. They assumed I was pressured with the current Daydream concerts and LR comeback in line, and I didn't correct them either. In the attempt of improving my mood, it was Taekwoon hyung who suggested having a little chat with our Starlights. Hoping it would make me feel better and it really did. I talked about all sorts of random things for 40 whole minutes and I was genuinely happy throughout the entire live session. However, I couldn't stop my stranded thoughts from straying back to the initial point when it was over though.

Clearing my throat a little, I tried replying in a brighter tone, "I'm good, hyung and I didn't breathe a word about our LR comeback. So, don't worry about it and go to sleep, okay?" I heard him laugh on the other hand as he began with his usual brotherly nagging.

"Yah, Kim Wonshik! I didn't tell you to go on VLive for that! You didn't even get down from the stage yesterday and you seemed disturbed during the entire High Touch event today too. Fans are worried, Wonshik-ah. We are worried too and here you are... making fun of that concern. Do you want me to come over to your room right now?"

He pretended to be angry while I laughed a little relaxed by the appearance of his original silly self.

"Wonshik-ah..." He called softly again.