Whole of The Moon - s.h - book 2

ten.

Forman basement. Hyde, Kelso, Fez and I are watching TV. Eric comes in, carrying the school paper. "Extra! Extra! Read all about it!"

"'Skinny Dill-hole Talks Like an Idiot'? Yeah, yeah. I read it." Hyde says as he wraps his arm around my shoulder.

"No." Eric grins as he takes a seat. "Guess who was voted Point Place High's Most Eligible Viking?

"Tommy Larkin?" Fez gets too overly excited earning a questioning look from Hyde and Kelso.

"Well, he is dreamy." I fake giggle like a school girl.

"No. Me, thank you very much." Eric snobs.

"Congratulations, Eric. I guess this opens up a whole new world for you." Kelso pats Eric on the back. "One where you can actually date chicks."

"And don't think I haven't already thought of that, my friend..."

Eric imagines the Pick A Chick game show where he has to choose out of three women and take one home. Eric says how Hyde and Kelso would be the announcers and at the end Eric would go home with all three women.

Hyde groans and shakes his head. "Forman, don't put me in your fantasies. I don't even like being in your real life."

"You can put me in your fantasies." Fez says. "I don't mind. I don't have a lot going on."

Soon enough Donna and Jackie come in.

"Oh hey, Donna. Hey, um, did you see the school paper?" Eric announces again.

"Oh yeah. Field hockey team's going to state. Whoo-hoo!" Donna frowns in confusion over what Eric's speaking about.

"Uh-oh. Looks like someone doesn't wanna talk about... the new Most Eligible Viking. Look Donna, this whole, uh "Most Eligible" thing has really taught me something. Um, I'm pretty. So, what do you say like, we officially start dating other people?"

"Oh, I've been waiting for your permission. And can I stay out past nine, please, please?"

"As long as you're gonna be cool when you see me with... one, two or seven of Point Place's juiciest tomatoes."

"It's just like old times Eric and Donna talking about meaningless crap that affects only them. I've missed it so." Hyde tells me.

---

Hyde shuffles around my room looking at my things while I sit on my bed watching him. "Did you enjoy your Christmas present?" I bite my bottom lip after asking Hyde.

Hyde laughs and walks over to me. "It was the best Christmas present I've had." He hovers over me, our lips so close. "Can I have that present again?"

I roll my eyes and pull him closer.

---

Eric with the yearbook look through the pages as we sit in the Hub. "Okay, you guys, which one of these lucky ladies gets to go out with Point Place High's Most Eligible Viking?"

"Start with the gymnastics team, but go with the second string just as limber and somethin' to prove." Hyde smirks to Eric.

"How about her?" Eric points to a skinny blonde.

"Yeah, I made out with her once." Kelso replies.

"Okay, I don't want my tongue where Kelso's tongue has been."

"Oh, you better stay away from your mom then." Eric hits him. "I was kidding!"

"What about her?"

"Hey, I know her, man." Leo points out. "She's not all there, if you know what I mean."

"She's a space case, huh?" Hyde nods.

"No, she's missing a toe."

Eric turns away from Leo and notices a girl from across the room. "Oh you guys. There's that girl Emily. Problem solved. Excuse me, fellas." We all lean in closer to hear as he walks up to her. "Hey, Emily."

"Oh hi, Eric." She blushes. "I saw your name in the paper."

"God, that totally slipped my mind although I think I have a copy right here." He takes a clipping of the article out of his back pocket and starts showing the girl.

Fez runs in. "Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Rhonda just said she has something special to share with me tomorrow night." We all turn our heads from Eric to Fez. "It can only mean that we're going to do it! No, no, no. Listen to me. I need a place to do it roomy and cheap. Just like my Rhonda."

"You can use the Fotohut, man." Leo smiles. "I'm always happy to lend it out for deflowering and bar mitzvahs."

"Thank you, Leo. Tomorrow night, Fez becomes a man."

"Oh, so it is a bar mitzvah."

---

The guys are playing mouse trap while I'm flicking through a magazine.

"Oh is it my turn?" Fez asks. "Oh funny, 'cause tonight is also my turn... Ah! To do it."

"Guess what, Eric?" Jackie pronounces as she walks into the basement. "Donna has a date tonight too. Yep, yep, yep. Mm-hmm. I set her up with Michael's older brother, Casey."

Eric and Hyde begin laughing.

Hyde wipes his eyes and says. "Oh man, Donna's going out with Casey Kelso?  Casey "What's the big deal? It's just a misdemeanor" Kelso? Man, that's gonna be the best bad date ever." He shakes his head and looks at me. "Hey, we should hide in the trunk."

"Oh, like Sprytle and Chimchim!" Kelso nods.

"Oh my God. I would pay to see that date." Eric laughs.

"So, Casey what are your thoughts on feminism?" Hyde imitates a girls voice.

"Well, Donna, I think it can munch my butt." Eric replies.

They both start laughing again.

"All right. Hey. My brother's not that bad, okay?" Kelso shakes his head. "He taught us lot of good, useful stuff about chicks like, the bigger the boobs, the smaller the brain. That's a timeless truth."

I pat Kelso's shoulder and shake my head. "No it isn't."

---

Hyde is in his chair next to me. Kelso and Eric are on the couch. Fez comes in

"Behold, my friends. Your lovable foreign exchange student Fez has done it. With a woman." We look at him not really caring as we've all done it in here. "Fine. I'm still a virgin! You forced it out of me. Stop looking at me!"

He leaves and Kelso hands some money to Hyde.