Tour Bus Troublemaker// c.p.

•29•

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" I screamed at Charlie when we were securely locked in our hotel room. He ran a nervous hand through his messy hair and shook his head to himself as he paced back and forth.

"I don't know," he muttered. I crossed my arms coldly. I was pissed.

"You don't know?" I repeated harshly.
"You don't know?!"

"I don't know!" He yelled back, looking at me with terrified eyes.
"I don't know, okay? And right now, I just need to be alone before I hurt you any worse than I already have."

He attempted to reach past me to the door, but I pushed it closed behind me, not taking my eyes off him.

"You're not going anywhere," I replied sternly.

He cast me a confused look, which quickly turned into a look of hatefulness, a look of hatred.

"Kristen," his voice was low and threatening. About 2 months ago, this would have scared me so bad I would've run and hid under a bed. Now, I didn't even budge.

"You're not leaving," I repeated, which only made him more angry.

"I'm going to hurt you, Kristen!" His voice was desperate now.

"I don't care! You'll only hurt yourself out there," I responded.
"Hurt me, I don't give a fuck, but I'm not letting you go!"

His hazel eyes shone with tears of frustration.
"Kristen!" His voice intensified.

"Stop!" I yelled and in an instant, his large hands were pressed to my cheeks. He held my face in his hands tightly and stared into my eyes.

"I'm going to hurt you, don't you understand that? I'm no good for you, Kristen!" His voice broke and I shook my head, biting my lip to keep tears from spilling out of my eyes.

"You won't," I whispered, gazing into his softened eyes.

"Open the goddamn door," he said in a lower voice.

I shook my head in defiance.

"Kristen, I said open the do-"

I cut him off by pressing my lips to his. He was tense for a moment, but soon, he wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me deeper into his kiss, leaving me to stand on my tiptoes. I unlocked our lips, but didn't pull away. Instead, I wrapped my arms around his neck and shoulders, hugging him tightly. He held me closer and inhaled deeply.

"I'm sorry," his soft voice cracked like he was about to cry.

I shook my head on his shoulder.
"Don't be," I whispered.

Finally, I pulled away and stared up at him.

"Call Peggy," I said and he reluctantly nodded.
"She'll know what to do."

Taking out his phone, he walked towards the window and scratched the back of his neck in anxiety. I took a seat on the end of my bed and began to scroll through Instagram. There was nothing about the pap incident...yet.

"Peggy, stop-" Charlie sighed from the opposite side of the room, rubbing his forehead with his free hand.

"I'll figure it out, okay?" Charlie attempted to reassure her, obviously to no avail because I could hear her voice from my position across the room.

Charlie hung up and shook his head, staring out the window with his hands in his pockets.

Neither of us spoke a word for a few minutes until I stood up and walked toward him slowly. I slipped my arms around his abdomen, my head pressed against his back. His body seemed to relax before he turned around and wrapped his lean arms around my shoulders and rested his head on my shoulder, though he had to lean down a little.

We stayed like that for a while before eventually pulling away. His eyes met mine and he shook his head.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, close to tears.

I felt tears of my own well up in my eyes. When I tried to blink them away, they just fell faster down my rosy cheeks.

"Charlie," I shook my head in slight confusion.

"I ruined you, Kristen," he continued, his voice no longer in a whisper.
"If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be getting this much hate. Okay, if it wasn't for me, I can guarantee you your career wouldn't be in jeopardy. Kristen," he sighed, his hazel eyes filled with regret.
"I can't let myself ruin you like this."

More tears slipped out of my eyes and I couldn't stop them. I sniffed a little and shook my head.

"Don't say that," I replied in a soft voice.
"Please don't blame yourself, Charlie. I didn't have to stay, you know that? I could've left a long, long time ago when you still hated me, or maybe when you brought Bella on tour. But I stayed, not only for my career at first, but for you, Charlie, don't you understand that?" My voice cracked and I clenched my eyes shut.

I sighed and met his gaze again.
"I love you," I whispered.

He bit his bottom lip and shook his head slightly.
"I love you, too, Kristen," he returned in a whisper.
"I love you so much."

I could sense more coming by the way he looked at me.

"But I can't do this anymore," he shrugged and tears fell from his puffy eyes.

I could feel my heart aching in my chest. My stomach was in a knot; I felt like I might be sick.

"Charlie," I attempted to meet his stare, but he just looked down at his sneakers.

"You deserve someone so much better than me, Kris," he replied when his eyes met mine again.

I searched his eyes for an answer, just something to explain why...but I found nothing. His once brilliant, shining hazel eyes were now darker, closed off almost.

"Someone better?" I asked rhetorically with a scoff.
"Who else would calm me down from a panic attack? Who else would listen to me pour my heart about my family and my dad and my music? Who else would punch a fucking paparazzi for me, knowing the consequences?!" My voice was tight and desperate.
"There's nobody better for me than you, Charlie Puth," I shook my head a little and whispered.

Right before he could respond, there was a knock at the hotel room door. His gaze went from me to the door behind us as he brushed past me to walk to the door.

He opened it, both of us holding our breaths, assuming the worst. There was a man standing in a suit, a small badge on his right shoulder.

"Charlie Puth?" He questioned, pointing at Charlie a little.

"That's me," Charlie answered quietly as the man nodded and gestured out the door.

"I'm gonna need you to come with me, please," the man's stern voice responded. Charlie glanced back at me worriedly as the door closed behind him.

I sat on the edge of the bed and tried to catch my breath. What if that was the last time I ever saw him? What if I wasted the opportunity to kiss him one last time? What if I never got the chance to tell him how much I loved him again?

These thoughts consumed my mind and I could practically feel my heart shattering. This couldn't be real, this wasn't real. I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut. My breathing quickened involuntarily; my heart began to race.

Charlie. My Charlie, possibly gone forever. I couldn't stand the thought, let alone the possibility.

I couldn't lose him.

At least not without losing myself, too.
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