Chapter 16: Spaghetti

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Jackie Simmons

I pulled the covers over my naked body, while Brad stood up, fully clothed and ready to go somewhere. Then my husband said something to me I never thought he would say.

"If you want children, ask me for them. I'll give them to you but won't be getting a job anytime soon," he said, getting more angrier as he put his finger underneath my chin.

We had spent the last four hours trying for children and my body was so sore that I could not even walk if I had to. He really took his word seriously and we actually did try for children right then and there. I was excited that he was going to grant my wish and it was just crazy that he actually did not mind kids. I knew that he had a thing for kids but I did not know he'd want kids in his house. But then, strangely, I thought of something.

"What do you have against me getting a job? You know, that's quite sexist," I smirked as I looked at him. I was not a feminist because well, for one it just never appealed to me. The second reason was because I was raised off sexist ideas. That is sad but I was. As a young girl, I had big dreams. I wanted to be a doctor but it was outside my parents' occupation which was the family business. My parents were not a fan of this. My dad tried his best to accept it and my mom just broke down. To this day, I still have no intention of taking over the family business. It's not something I'm interested in.

The choices in my family for a girl is being a housewife or working in the business. And I became the housewife but I'm not sad about that, I just acknowledge the fact that what I was taught was pretty sexist.

"I'm not sexist," Brad interrupted my thoughts, "There is enough people in this house working. I like coming home to you and I'm keeping it that way."

"You like me as a housewife?" I asked in shock and my stomach felt like it had butterflies in it.

"This house feels more like home when you're in it and that's why you're not getting a job. So, don't ask me about it again." I forgot all about the job when I heard the compliment he gave me and I tired to tell myself, 'Don't fall for it. He doesn't mean it.' But, my heart thought otherwise. It was hard not to fall for someone who made you feel like you are the most loved person ever. I know Brad does not love me as much as I love him but I want him to. I believe that he can.

The problem is that I still have not told him that I love him. I told him when he got ran over by a car but I don't think he heard me. I was scared to tell him because of one simple thing:

Cheating.

I know Brad does not love me. I know that there is a possibility that he could be cheating on me but I choose to ignore it because I know myself. If I see my husband cheating on me, that would break me forever. I would cry and possibly, go into depression for a very long time. I'd probably have to leave my own home, where I live. I know I am very pathetic to let him kiss me and touch me, even after I know he could be cheating on me. But I could not help it and I tried to stop myself from letting it happen.

I choose to ignore that topic, though. What comforts me is that I'm the one he returns to at the end of the day. I comfort him at the end of the day, I cook him food, I massage his shoulders when he's had a bad day. No one else does it because I do it. I'm his wife and I have a claim on him that no other girl has. That is what comforts me.

Coming out of my reverie, I heard Brad talk again, "You're my housewife and its going to stay like that, forever."

I looked down, blushing and I literally heard Olivia's voice in my head say, 'And watch yourself get hurt later, it's stupid to even feel good about his compliments.'
* * *
Brad had started to repeat the same process everyday. He would come home looking stressed. It seemed like something was wearing him out physically and mentally, even though I know he would never admit that to me. Every time I asked him what was wrong, he would avoid the question or tell me straight up when to leave the conversation alone. That got me wondering. What was so stressful that Brad did not want to tell me about? Better yet, what was so important that Brad did not want to tell me?

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