that afternoon, ethan made sure they'd have time to hang out. riley's head was laid on ethan's shoulder, his arms wrapped around her waist as they watched a movie. they had been so touchy lately but riley wasn't complaining. it made her feel good for once.
"goals." riley muttered, eyeing the cute couple in the movie that held each other close.
"that's your goals?" ethan questioned, referring to the ups and downs the couple tragically faced throughout the film.
riley shook her head. "well no. just being in a relationship."
ethan turned to face riley, making her look at him. "i feel like i don't really know you but at the same time i do. i want to know riley mitchell."
"can i know ethan dolan as well?" she asked hopeful that she didn't have to talk about herself.
"you know things about me already, i want to know you." he chuckled, not knowing it'd be be this hard to get riley to talk about herself. "what do you want to be when you're older?"
riley squinted her eyes at ethan's odd question before answering. "i don't know. anything to do with music or art."
"hm, when's your birthday?"
"december 14th." she answered. she was a proud lover of the winter and the fact it was coming up soon, she was more than glad.
"really? i know someone with that birthday, that's cool." ethan nodded, clearly interested in their conversation.
riley laughed softly. "yeah."
"any talents?"
"i can sing, draw, and play soffball. my parents signed me up for a lot of things growing up." riley shrugged, feeling that she was average at those things. she hadn't played softball since middle school and she was on recreation teams. she couldn't ever get herself to tryout now for the school so that didn't really count as something she did anymore.
after ethan had asked her a couple more questions he noticed something in riley whenever she talked about herself. she seemed to cut her words short as if she was afraid of saying too much. "all of this stuff you wouldn't even tell me if i never brought it up."
"hm?" riley asked, confused at what he meant.
"it's like this one quote, it says, and if i asked you to name all the things that you love, how long would it take for you to name yourself? riles, you don't have any emotion when you tell me things." ethan looked to riley for an explanation. "why?"
she shrugged, avoiding his gaze, hating how he could read her like a damn book. "i blame school."
"why would that be?" he questioned her. he wanted her to say more, tired of guessing things for himself.
she shrugged with a sigh. "i feel fine at home, my parents are great. i just have low-self esteem. when i get to school i just feel that everyone's judging me."
riley has honestly always felt that way. she hated getting close to people because she always regretted sharing too much to her so called friends that she used to have.
"you shouldn't think that."
"i try! it's just hard. i don't have many friends, i'm socially awkward, nothing's interesting about me." riley explained, playing with her hair to keep from thinking too deep about her feelings.
"well step one is to stop worrying about what people have to say about you. fake your confidence if you have to. that'll destroy anyone who's judging you." ethan smiled assuringly at riley.
riley tilted her head at ethan. "is there a reason you're being really nice?"
ethan nodded, grasping riley's hands in his. "i think it's important that people don't feel alone. also when i was a sophomore i was exactly like you. i would say i was worse, but i just want to help you before you get that way."
"what happened?" riley asked, curiously. ethan is always happy, hearing that he wasn't once made her wonder.
he played with her fingers, debating if he should tell her about it now. "i really don't want to kill the mood, i'll tell you another time."
"that's fine." she smiled a genuine smile that ethan loved seeing on her.
"so," ethan stood up with a clap at his hands. "in the mood for pizza?"
riley groaned, falling back onto the couch making ethan laugh. "oh my gosh, ethan. you already had pizza today."
"okay, fine. you're right. fast food?"
"i guess." riley playfully rolled her eyes.
++
it gets good from
here i promise :)
