Bucket List | Jack Duff

s i x t e e n

— JACK —
(hi again boo)

Sitting in the hospital room, my body going numb as I tried to find peace within the hard, orange plastic chair I was sitting on, my fingers found their way through Ari's hair from where she was lay with her head in my lap - Andy and Rye bounded into the room quietly, hand-in-hand, as not to disturb her or Mikey who were both fast asleep. Brook was still out there somewhere, exploring the depths of the hospital, if he hadn't gotten lost already. We'd ended up making our tribal trip to the hospital after ice skating because Mikey couldn't move his am at all once we'd managed to get him off the ice and the pain was reducing him to tears so we knew he needed to get it checked out.

We'd been in the hospital since 8:30pm and it was now nearing the early hours of the morning because the hospital seemed to be on a super busy shift tonight and Mikey's arm wasn't seen so much as a major priority so we were all waiting here with him instead of us leaving him here by himself to go back to the flat like he'd originally insisted. He still needed to have an x-ray, and if it was broken, he would need to stay in hospital for the night to have an operation to put a pin in his arm but if he'd just fractured it, he would get it put in a cast and put in a sling and we'd be sent home. At this rate, we'd be out by early tomorrow morning.

"Are you two dating yet?" Andy asked me suddenly, taking me by surprise as he sat himself on one of the hard orange hospital chairs across from me, leaning his chest against Mikey's hospital bed and resting his chin on his hands.

"No Andy, we're not dating," I said. "Well at least not yet"

Andy let out a squeal and clapped his hands like a small child being given something they wanted, waking Mikey a little as he stirred and turned over onto his good arm. I raised my eyebrows at him and he calmed down but was still smiling and happy.

And it was the truth. I wanted her to be mine and I wanted it to happen soon. I'd well and truly fallen for my best friend and there was really no saying in what happened next for us. She was just so perfect in every single way and there was no way I could describe how she made me feel. I'd felt this way for a long while but had only recently realised that it would be amazing to be able to tell people that she was mine.

I'd been trying to push back my feelings for her, scared for myself that when she went, I'd be the one left hurting in the road - but I'd realised that no matter what happens to her or what happens to me afterwards, she will always be my first love and nothing was ever going to chnage that. I didn't want to let her illness stop us both from being happy.

Speaking of being happy, she was the only one who could make me this happy too. She made me the happiest person alive and it was nothing like I've ever felt before, not even with massive successions for the band. It was a different type of happiness than what I got from being around the boys, or being around fans. It was that type of happiness you get when you're peaceful and content with everything round you and it never really goes away no matter what and that's how she made me feel.

"So you do want it to happen then?" Andy asked as he lay his head down on Rye's back. Andy's mission of getting Rye's energy out had succeeded as he'd fallen asleep within minutes of arriving through the door, him and Andy running through the hospital gardens together clearly having drained all the energy out of him.

"I'm going to be honest with you and tell you that I've been holding out on this for a really long time but yes Andy, I really do want it to happen" I said and his smile widened as I spoke. "I was scaring myself a little at first with the thought of finally having her as my own and then losing her not long after it happened but I know we only have a few months left with her so now I don't really want to wait too long. A few months together is better than never letting her know how I feel about her at all"

The smile never left Andy's face as he began to speak.

"I hope you know this is everything me and the boys have been waiting for and more" Andy told me softly. "The boys and I will legit speak about it everyday when you and Aria aren't in the room and we've been itching to try and get you both together for such a long time now but we didn't want to force anything? Just in case it ruined things between your friendship but now you've said that we can put our plan into place"

"You already have a plan?" I asked and he chuckled.

"We've had a plan right from the very beginning, this is why we're your brothers," Andy said, chuckling to himself a little. "I heard you both whispering about a day out together during the drive-in movie so that's a perfect place to start. Make it a day all about you two; start by taking her to the first place yous ever met, so in Euston Station and talk to her about what happened and basically just reminisce about the day you guys met for the first time. And then take her where you took her on your first day together. Basically just relive the first day yous ever met and then the last place you took her, which was obviously Hyde Park, make sure it's dark and ask her there. If you need help in making it cute or anything then we can help with that because we've got a load of stuff up our sleeve but do it how you want to do it and make it special for her. I have faith in you"

I smiled gently, realising just how much thought had been put into this.

"You guys are honestly the best, you know that right?"" I said, chuckling. "I genuinely, had no idea that yous were planning any of this but it's probably a good job because I would've killed you all quick for planning without me and then join in on it"

"But how would you have been able to join in with the plans if we were all dead?" Andy smirked and I pushed his arms from where they were still lay crossed on the bed. He lost his balance and fell off the orange hospital chair and landed with a thud on the floor, which set us both off laughing so much that we almost woke Rye.

Andy and I spoke for a long time after that until finally, at just after 2:30am, the nurse finally came along for Mikey to take him to his x-ray. Brooklyn had come back by this point and had fallen asleep too so now 3 out of 6 of us were asleep - we decided to stay T the hospital while Mikey went to go and get scanned, figuring it easier to just keep everyone asleep. We didn't end up leaving the hospital until after 4:00am when we finally found out Mikey's arm was only fractured and he would be in a sling as a cast for a few weeks; we'd never been so happy to leave the hospital and get back to Ari's house where everybody but me crashed immediately once back. I stayed up for a long time after everyone had fallen asleep, fighting back sleep and thinking things through.

This was going to happen. I didn't know how long it would take, but it would.