Bucket List | Jack Duff

t w e n t y - f o u r

ARIA

Today we were leaving the country for goal nineteen. And I was starting the day off by being sick. I was sat, trembling by the toilet in the dark, alone and shivering, all the lads being asleep and unknown to what was happening. It wouldn't stop, and I didn't know how to stop it. It was like my body was suddenly deciding it wanted to empty my contents out into the toilet, and wasn't going to stop until I was completely drained and empty.

'Go to Paris'

It was going to be the perfect few days, I would spend it with the boys and we would have a great time, but right now, I don't even feel well enough to move off this floor, nevermind get on a plane and jet off to another country. 

I spent the next five minutes entering another load of bodily content into the loo, until I finally felt relieved and able to stand up. I stood, staring at myself in the mirror, and although I couldn't really see myself properly, I knew I didn't look the same. My face was white, eyes sunken in and I was trembling like mad, whether it be from the cold or what just happened. 

Splashing water on my face and flushing the toilet to get rid of any trace of illness, I was about to turn around to go get back in bed with Jack, when I jumped back a mile to find Brooklyn stood in the open doorway of the bathroom.

Oh fuck, how long has he been stood there? And why did I leave the door open?

"Hey, Ari?" he asked, his voice merely a whisper and it was laced with concern. "Are you okay?"

I debated with myself for a long time whether to tell him, or hide it, and eventually came to the conclusion that I was going to lie to him. No need to set him off worrying.

"Yeah" I said softly, smiling as best I could. "I'm fine"

"Are you sure?" he asked, and I was afraid he'd seen through my lie. "You're trembling like mad, and it sounded from out here like you were being sick"

"Brooklyn" I said, walking over to him, and placing a hand on his shoulder. "I'm trembling because I'm cold, and if I was being sick I would tell you. I just came to get a drink, my throat was dry; come on, let's go back to bed"

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"Are you feeling better this morning?" Brooklyn asked as we were walking through the airport. Being honest with you, I felt like complete crap as I'd barely slept all night and I'd been sick again this morning before the boys woke up, but managed to clean myself up before anyone noticed.

"Brooklyn, I told you last night" I said to him, getting a little frustrated with how he wouldn't just leave it, but trying not to show it so much. "Nothing happened last night. I had a dry throat, so I went to get a drink and it was cold in the bathroom so I was trembling. That's it"

"I don't believe you" he said. "You look exhausted"

I huffed, getting more frustrated.

"I'm just trying to look out for you" he said hurriedly, knowing I was getting annoyed. 

"I know you are" I said. "And that's why I'm telling you the truth. You know I'd tell you if there was something really going on because I know yous would be able to help"

He left it after that, and I was glad of it too because I knew if he carried on it would've ended up spilling to him. I was kinda glad too that Jack didn't ask questions about our little confrontation, as he was the one person I can't hide things from, which would've been bad.

We were on the plane, about 20 minutes in, when I started feeling better. Jack was asleep on me, and I wanted to sleep too, and now I was feeling better I hoped I'd be able to. I was praying that last night and this morning was just a little sickness bout I'd caught in the night and now things had left my system, it was going to be okay again.

Brooklyn wouldn't stop stealing glances at me from the other side of the aisle, so I lay my head down on Jack's shoulder and willed sleep to come - which in the end, it did.

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"This place is beautiful" I said, looking out of the window of our hotel room.

"Not as beautiful as you" Jack said, coming to stand behind me.

"No, gross, never say that again" I chuckled, looking up at him. "Thank you bringing me here"

"Hey, don't thank me" he said. "You asked, me and the boys delivered"

I turned round and hugged him tightly, and he returned without a second thought. I think we could've stayed hugging all day if it hadn't have been for Andy bursting into the room with Rye.

"Come on love birds" Andy said excitedly, pulling us apart. "We're burning daylight here. Let's go out and explore and the place, I've never been here before"

"I don't think any of us have" I chuckled. "But fine then, come on, let's go explore the city. We are, after all, burning daylight, because that's definitely possible"

Me and the boys left the hotel room to go and meet Mikey and Brooklyn down in the lobby, when I started coughing uncontrollably into my hand. Andy and Rye had wandered too far ahead to notice what was going on, but Jack was right beside me.

"Hey, hey, hey" he said, coming to stand behind me. "What's going on?"

I didn't know how to control what was happening right now because I could feel Jack becoming increasingly worried, and I also became increasingly worried when I pulled my hand away from my mouth slightly and realised I was coughing up blood.

I managed to grab a tissue from my pocket and wipe it away, stowing it off in my back pocket before Jack would notice what the hell was going on. When I stopped coughing, I looked up at him to see his face was literally creased with concern.

"Take that look from off your face" I said, ruffling my hand through his hair. "Just a cough okay, had a tickle in my throat and needed to get rid"

"Are you sure?" Jack asked uncertainly as we continued to walk down the corridor.

"I'm sure" I said adamantly, trying to hide my shaking voice. "Now come on, lets go"

He seemed to relax a little then, but I wasn't relaxed. 

This isn't good. At all. And I don't know what to do.