The boy is mine, WATTY AWARDS 2014

The boy is mine- Chapter 14

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If I had a knife I would bet big money that I could actually cut in half the tension that was between James and I. I thought of all these different ways to strike a conversation with him but I just couldn't. That's what stung the most. That I couldn't even think of what to say when two days ago we would have talked about nothing and made it sound interesting.

"How was your date?" He asked breaking the silence. Was he seriously asking about the date that he crashed?

"I don't know you were there, how'd you like the dae."

"Would have been better with one less person if you ask me." He smiled.

"Usually dates are with just two people. You know, the two people that plan it." I remarked.

"Dates, especially first dates are meant to be with the right person Lanny."

"And you think you are the right person? I mean you crash my date and say all this crazy talk.."

"You think what I feel is crazy talk? Do you know how hard it was to say those words to you and not hear them back."

"What did you expect me to do James? You really just threw yourself at me without warning." I was sounding a litte bitchy but this conversation was frustrating me.

"That's really the way you put me confessing that I care about you? Throwing myself at you? Lanna, I thought you thought better of me than that. Guess I was wrong."

With the intense conversation I hadn't paid much attention to the road as I realized we were now parked to the side of the road that leads to my street.

" You know what, I know you Lanna, better than any person in your life. I know when you're happy, I know when you're sad, I know what you expect out of life and I appreciate you for who you are rather than what you were and what you are now. I know exactly what you're worth and you are worth more than some girl that will get tossed in another pile of Jason's collection."

"Why do you have so little faith that maybe he may be interested in me? If you think I am so great then why don't you belive that he can see I'm great." I said back rather hurt that he couldn't see things from my point of view.

"He would be crazy not to see those things Lanny, but that's just the thing. He is crazy. He won't see them. Those things aren't the things he cares about, trust me I have known him for years!" He paused," Look I am not going to try and stand in the way of you and your perfect new relationship with a guy that you don't even know but don't say I didn't warn you."

I didn't know what to say at that point and I found myself opening the car door and getting out.

"Lanna, what are you-" James made his way outside the car and came to my side.

"I was choking on negativity in there and I needed some fresh air."

"I'm not being negative." He said, "Just honest."

"You're being brutal. Seriously is your jelousy that much of a heavy weight to carry that you can not bear it so you sabotage my first date with the only guy I have ever cared about?"

"Wow Lanny, just say how you really feel. I thought I was the only guy in your life." He looked hurt, like he really did think he was the only guy I could care about.

"You know I care about you too."

"Just not like that? It's okay really. But you never have?" That was a question I was hoping to avoid.

"I can't answer that James." He came closer to me until our noses were almost touching. I lowered my gaze so that we wouldn't lock eyes.

"Answer it." He said pulling a strand of hair behind my ear, I shook my head in response.

"Answer it Lanna." He said again brushing his thumb on my cheek. I stayed quiet so he tried again.

"Answer, Please." I still was immobile so he leaned in really close and I knew at that point he was going to kiss me. I could feel his warm breath on my face and the tingling feeling in my lips telling me that he was close to mine. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes as I waited, and waited but nothing happened.

I opened my eyes to see James standing a foot away from me.

"I got my answer Lanny, now go find yours." He got into his car and drove off.

I stood there in the middle of the street overwhelmed by what my best friend since kindergarden had done. Was he trying to give me blood pressure? Or was he just trying to kiss any sense of rationality out of me. What was I going to do now? I really didn't ask for this.

I decided I would think this through over the weekend and avoid the boys until I had to see them. James would be unavoidable seeing as he always comes over in the morning to pick me up, and Jason well he happens to be everywhere I go now.

This was going to be a long ride and I was in the front seat without a seat belt going over the speed limit and I just knew that I was going to fly off.

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All weekend I had done everything but think of James and Jason. I had kept myself busy by burrying my head in books and going for long runs. But today I knew I couldn't avoid it any longer and I had to do something. And that something will be mission avoidance.

After I got ready I waited for up to twenty minutes in my room but the sound of my mother calling and announcing that James was here wasn't made today. Had James given up on me as a friend? Well what did I expect? Him to wait for me whilst I couldn't decide who I wanted, him or his best friend?

I made my way downstairs and out the door where a car was waiting for me. My heart lifted for a moment as I thought that it was James and all hope in the world was restored for me, but I was surprised to see that it was infact Jason that was waiting outside.

He got out of his car and walked up to me as I met him half way up my drive way.

"Hey Lanna." He said stuffing his hands into his pockets and looking rather awkward, not like the Jason I was use to.

"Hey Jason." I beamed forgetting about our three way date the other day.. I mentally slapped myself for sounding excited.

"Haven't heard from you all weekend was getting a little worried."

"Jason I just don't know what to say. I don't want to have to choose, so why can't we all just be good friends?" 

"Because that isn't what any of us want and you know it. You have known James all your life and that's fair enough but what about me? I never really got a chance to show you who I am? And that's again because of James. Look, at the end of the day James and I will still be best mates but where will that leave you? He will always try and get with you if you let him push past the limits all the time. All I'm saying is give me another chance, another date. Unless you think I don't deserve one?" 

Jason had a point, I never really gave him a proper chance and James had all this time to claim his turn, but he decided to do it when I was trying to find happiness elsewhere.

"Okay, one date and we will see how we go." I said back without thinking.

"I'll make it special." He said smiling and walking back to his car and driving off. 

Thanks for the ride asshole. I joked to myself like a crazy person talking to themselves.

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Guys please be sure to read my other book, 'my secret valentine.'