Euphoria - E.D.

4

The morning sun shone brightly through the windows, the sky clear and blue, not a cloud in sight. Birds chirped cheerful sounds, flying around from tree to tree. The leaves on the tree were slowly changing color, transitioning from bright green to an arrangement of orange, red, and yellow.

Alex and I sat in her hospital room, as usual, spending the early fall morning together. A plate of pancakes sat in front of me, and a smaller plate with pancakes sat in front of Alex as we ate breakfast together.

I'd never visited her in the morning. It was much more calm here in the earlier hours. Everything seemed to move a lot slower, even though nurses were constantly tending to patients.

I was off from school for the week, since we were on break, so I decided to make it a point to come see her one morning and eat breakfast together.

She played with the fork in her hand, picking at her food and not eating much. Her eyes looked down at the plate in front of her, and a sad sigh escaped her lips.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

She set down the fork, and shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know.."

"You can tell me what's bothering you, you know. I'm here to listen and help you Alex."

She sighed again, her eyes downcast, "You won't tell anybody?"

"Oh Alex, of course not. You can trust me, remember?"

"Well, I'm getting my second round of chemo soon and this time it's gonna be stronger. Since it's stronger I'll have a lot more side effects. I...I'm going to lose my hair this time. I know it's silly but I don't want that to happen."

"What are you scared of?" I quietly asked.

She pursed her lips, her eyes looking sad, "I'm scared people will are going to judge me, Ethan. I'm going to have a bald head and I'm going to look terrible."

"Alex, people aren't going to judge you. And if they do, you don't need them in your life," I softly said.

"How do I know you won't judge me? How do I know you won't be ashamed of being around me when I'm bald and ugly?"

"I'd never judge you Alex. I promise. You look beautiful now, and you'll look beautiful then," I gently spoke.

"I don't want to get more chemo. It's going to make me tired and weak, and sick. I'll be stuck in this place even longer. What's the point in it if it doesn't even work and doesn't get rid of my cancer?"

"Don't fear the future. I know it may be hard, but you just have to focus on the positives. There's so much in life to be positive about, and you just have to find them. I'll help you see what they are."

"You'll really stick with me through it all? Even when I'm tired and sick?"

"Yes. I'll always be here for you," I answered, giving her a small, reassuring smile.

She let out a breath, nodding her head, "Okay."

Her nurse walked in, giving Alex and I a warm smile, "Good morning Alex, good morning Ethan."

"Hi Annie," Alex replied.

"Hello," I kindly said.

She walked over to the side of Alex's bed, and began checking her vitals and changing out her IV needle and bag. She checked all the wires attached to her, then looked at Alex, "They'll begin your second round of chemo tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," She replied.

"I think it'd be a good idea to walk around a bit today to get your body moving since you won't have much energy to for a few days. Maybe go outside and get some fresh air as well. It'd be good for you."

"Sounds like a good idea. I haven't left this room for a few days."

"You and Ethan can go walk around after I'm done,"she smiled.

After checking up on Alex some more and looking at her monitors, the nurse left her room, and went on to go check other patients.

Alex looked at me, and uncovered herself from the blanket that laid on top of her. She sat up a little bit, and moved her body towards the edge of her bed, "Do you want to go walk around the floor for a little while?"

"Sure," I happily replied. I stood up from the chair and held her hands in mine as I helped her up. She slipped on a pair of flip flops that were besides the bad, and held onto the IV stand attached to her.

"I haven't walked around in a while. It'll be nice to move around a bit before I'll be in bed all the time," she said as we walked out of her room.

"If you don't mind me asking, how exactly does your chemotherapy work? I've heard about it a lot, but I don't really know much about it."

"Well, they stick a needle into a vein either on my arm or my chest. I prefer the arm, but I think this time they're going to put the needle in my chest. Then once the needle is in my body the needle is attached to small tube and bag, and it gets put into my body."

"And it makes you feel really terrible, huh?"

"Unfortunately, yes," she sighed, "It makes me feel way worse then I already do. The part I hate is just watching it go into my body. I'm literally getting chemicals injected into me."

She continued on, saying, "And it's one of the main and only ways to treat my cancer. It's not like I can go into surgery and have the part where the cancer is cut out since it's cancer of the blood."

I looked down at her as we walked. At her pale skin, her fragile body, her tired eyes and thin face. I frowned, feeling sympathetic for her, "Im sorry you have to go through all of this Alex."

"You don't have to apologize Ethan. There's nothing we can do about it. It's what my life has become."

"You shouldn't have to live like this though, trapped in a room all day and having chemicals injected into you."

"Well, maybe you can help make my time here more bearable, like you said the other day."

I smiled at her, "That's what I'm here for Alex. That's friends are for. Speaking of chemo, would you prefer if you were left alone tomorrow so you can rest?"

"It won't affect me right away. It'll take a little while to. If you don't mind though, I think I'd prefer to have some company. Chemo is no fun."

"Okay," I kindly said, "Then I'll be here."

She stopped walking, catching her breath, "Could we go back to my room? I'm kind of tired."

"Of course we can," I answered, walking back to the hospital room with her.

Once we got back, she took off her shoes, and laid down in her bed. Her eyes were tired, dark circles present underneath them. Slowly, she drifted off to sleep, exhausted from our walk. I stood up from the chair I sat in and decided to leave for the day so she could rest. It was enjoyable being with her, but I didn't want to tire her out.

How sad is it that she didn't even have enough energy anymore to move around a lot? It'd be worse after receiving more chemotherapy, that's for sure.