Euphoria - E.D.

22

Undergoing surgery truly takes a toll on someone's life, before and after anyone undergoes a procedure.

First off, the patient can't eat anything past midnight, which really is terrible, because I'm always hungry. A day or two before my surgery, it was suggested by the doctors that I took things easy, and didn't do much walking around. For some, this may have not been a problem, but for me, it was, because I always hated being stricken to bed rest. I wanted to get up, walk around, go outside and get some fresh air, and go see Alex since I had so little time left with her. I was already going to be put on bedrest after the procedure, so being on bedrest before made things a bit worse.

I passed time the day before my procedure by talking to Alex on FaceTime the majority of the day, or talking to Grayson and my parents. Things felt off the day before though, because no one knew if I'd have to undergo an entire amputation, like my doctor mentioned a couple of weeks prior. Everyone tried to act fine, but it was obvious that it was fake, and it was more for sympathy towards me. Alex sensed it too, while we were FaceTiming each other, and if it wasn't for her helping me to keep calm, and remain positive, everything would've been much, much worse.

Although I was somewhat worried that the surgeons would find a larger tumor the day of my surgery, and I'd get an amputation, I was more so worried about something else. I feared that when I woke up afterwards, and the anesthesia wore off, Alex would be gone. I was terrified that she'd die while I was in surgery. Sure, I should've been more worried about possibly getting my leg amputated, but I'd still be alive when I woke up, and I'd be cancer free. Alex would still have cancer, and there was still a chance she'd be gone from the earth.

Alex and I tried to remain positive though, and we talked to each other every second we could, until I was taken into surgery.

I held my phone in my hand, looking at the girl I loved on my screen. She looked sicker then she did before as time went on, her eyes tired and droopy, red and purple circles under her eyes. Her lips slowly began to lose the soft pink color they had to them, now having a purple tinge to them. Her voice was tired and scratchy, slowly losing all energy it once had.

"How much longer until you have to go?" She asked.

It was the morning of my surgery, and we didn't want to say goodbye until we had to. "I don't know to be honest. I'm scheduled to go in at 10 A.M., but I haven't been told how much longer I have."

"Are you okay? How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, I guess. I'm not too nervous, but there still is the risk of them finding an even bigger tumor," I responded.

"You'll be okay. And you'll still be the most beautiful boy I've ever laid eyes on," Alex quietly replied, smiling.

I smiled at her, grateful for her positivity. "How are you feeling, Alex?"

"The same as before. Still tired, still not hungry. My parents are getting more worried be the second."

"I'm worried too."

"Why?"

"What if you're gone when I wake up? You can't leave without saying goodbye," I whispered.

"I'll always be with you Ethan. I promise," she replied, "Look under your pillow."

I looked at her confused, turning my body to move the pillows around. I held my phone in one hand, and searched for whatever she wanted me to find with the other hand. Underneath my pile of pillows and bedsheets, laid a ring attached to a string, with a hook and clasp.

"Alex, what is this?" I asked, observing the object.

"A ring I've always worn. It has my birthstone on it, but on the inside, I recently got it engraved with our initials. You'll always have me with you, Ethan."

I held the ring, looking at the small and fragile stone attached to it, and read the small, engraved letters on the inside. I undid the clasp, placing the necklace around my neck.

"You're right. We will always be with each other," I told her.

"Don't forget about our matching tattoos."

"I won't," I smiled, looking at the letters permanently inked onto my skin.

Just as Alex and I were talking, my parents, Grayson, a few nurses, and my doctor walked into the room. And I knew, it was time.

"It's time Ethan. Are you ready?" My doctor asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I replied, "Let me just say goodbye really quick."

I returned my eyes back to my phone screen, looking at Alex. She gave me a sad smile, before saying goodbye. "Dream of me when they put you to sleep," she said.

"I will," I whispered, "I'll see you soon, Alex."

"I'll be waiting here for you. I promise."

"I love you Alex," I told her, giving her a sad smile.

"I love you too, Ethan," she said before we hung up the phone.

My parents and Grayson walked over to my bed, saying goodbye before I was taken out of the room.

"I'll see you when you wake up bro," Grayson said.

"Bye Gray," I replied, waving to him and my parents as the nurses wheeled me down to the operating room.

Cold air suddenly made contact with my skin, as we entered the operating room, surgeons standing in their proper attire, blue cloths and tables with operating tools next to them.

"Ready?" One of them asked, holding a mask in their hand.

I nodded my head, "Yeah."

"Okay," they replied, placing the mask on my face, "Count down from ten for me."

"10.."

"9.."

"8.."

"7.."

"6.."

And I was out. I don't know why they always tell patients to countdown from ten, expecting them to make it to one, because I've never made it past 6.

As they operated on me, I laid in a deep sleep, away from all of reality. I dreamt of Alex, and her ocean blue orbs, with hopes that she'd still be alive when I woke up.