Mary Grace

Nine

Nine

MY BODY PROTESTED when I got up from the bed. The damn phone is ringing loudly it's starting to hurt my ears. I cussed under my breath as I snatched it from the side table, my eyes narrowing at the pulsating light from the device.

"It's 11:55 pm, goddammit. Who the heck is this?" Sinagot ko ang tawag kahit na unknown caller ang nakalagay. I was thinking it was Jeremy, wanting to fix our fight. I know it was my fault, but more often than not, Jeremy's always the one to coo me.

"Mary Grace," I almost dropped my phone when his familiar and cringe-worthy voice filled my ears. My body start trembling. "Happy birthday! It's still your birthday right?"

I stared at my left hand. My fingers are shaking uncontrollably. I swallowed the lump in my throat. How dare he call me in the middle of the night? "What do you want?" I asked calmly, hoping my voice doesn't betray me.

He chuckled on the other line. "I'm just greeting you a happy birthday, honey. Is there something wrong?"

I felt like crying again. I hate how I feel like my 8-year old self again whenever I am talking to him. I hate how he has power over me and he knows how to use it very well.

Hindi na ako nakasagot pa. Ibinaba ko ang aking phone. The call duration continued. I couldn't even press the end call button. I pulled my knees into my chest, rocking myself back and forth slowly. Tears sprung to my eyes. He must've sensed that I am not interested talking to him anymore because after a little while, the phone call ended.

Lumabas ako ng kwarto at bumaba, suddenly thirsty. I tip-toed towards the kitchen, putting my very best effort not to make a noise.

"Mary Grace,"

I jumped in surprise. Muntik ko pang mabitawan ang basong aking hawak-hawak. I turned to see Dad leaning against the doorway with his beefy arms crossed against his chest.

"Dad," I said, sighing loudly. "You startled me,"

"Can I talk to you?" He asked calmly. He no longer has the same angry expression on his face. Just the tired and exhausted look that indicates he'd gone tired fighting with me anymore.

"Of course," I said, pouring myself a glass of water. Umupo si Dad sa aking tapat. My hands are still trembling as I placed the water in front of me and sat across Dad. "What is it about?"

"Everything." Dad said. "I wanted to know everything, Mary Grace," He started. "What's going on with you? What's happening? Why are you using marijuana? For God's sake, you've been keeping your life away from me. From your mother. You're living your own world from the rest of us."

I stared at the water in front of me. When I sensed that he was waiting for an answer, I allowed myself to take a gulp of water to calm down first. "It's. . ." I trailed off, then sighed. "I actually don't know where to start." I lifted my gaze to peek at him. My father is watching me intently and his eyes are encouraging. Like he's saying that I could take as much time as I wanted. "I'm sorry," I muttered.

"Go on, honey."

"I'm not like Ate Annie. I'm not the perfect girl with perfect grades and perfect attitude. I admit I'm doing pot session with my friends because I'm just a teenage girl curious of how the world works. I do have a boyfriend, his name is Jeremy. We've been together for as long as I can remember. And I know it's my fault for neglecting your advice. Hindi na ako nakikinig sa inyo. Nagiging rebelde na ako. But before I knew it, I'm already in deep shit right now."

"I see." He nodded his head in acknowledgement. "Alam kong may pagkukulang din ako sa iyo, anak. Your mother and I are both hurting when we see you like this. And I don't like you keeping any secrets from me anymore, okay? Learn to speak when needed, Mary Grace. Mahal na mahal ko kayong dalawa ng ate mo."

Right then and there, I wanted to tell him about Uncle Thomas. About what happened 10 years ago when we went to Davao Oriental. I wanted to tell him that the vacation that should be one of my good memories turned out to be the biggest nightmare of my life. I wanted to tell him that my plan on befriending Ate Annie miserably failed. That I did not enjoy the rest of the vacation and I couldn't seem to breath properly every time I am in the same room with Uncle Thomas since then.

"Dad, I need to tell you something,"

"Yes, of course. What is it?"

"About. . ." I averted my gaze from him. "Well, will you promise me you won't get mad at me for keeping this for so long?"

"Of course, I won't." mabilis niyang tugon.

I pursed my lips. Biglang pumasok sa aking isipan ang sinabi niya sa akin noon. About telling someone what really happened and planting a bullet to my mother's head. "Actually, never mind it. Have I told you I've been sneaking from the house every midnight?"

"I know that," Dad glared at me.

"Oh," I laughed nervously. "Yeah. That was it. I'm not the kind of daughter you can be proud of."

"You may have committed stupid mistakes, Mary Grace. But you're still my daughter. Walang magbabago doon."

"I know," I pulled myself up from my seat. I'm such a coward, Dad. I'm sorry. "Matutulog na po ako,"

"Yeah," Dad raised from his seat as well and kiss me on top of my head. "I know this is a bit late. But Happy Birthday, baby."

"Thanks, Dad."

"HEY!" DANIELLE GRABBED Mariah's backpack to pull her back and squinted her eyes at her, clearly pissed off. "Are you ignoring us?"

Mariah averted her gaze. "Huh? Uhm, no. Nope. . ." she trailed off. "Sorry, I didn't hear you right away,"

I cocked an eyebrow. "Really, Mariah?"

She chewed on her lips. "Yeah."

"Come here," I dragged her outside of the building and into the quadrangle. We forced Mariah down the wooden chair even when she's clearly protesting. I placed my hands on my waist when she finally settled down. "What's wrong, Mariah?"

Halos hindi kami matingnan dalawa ni Mariah. She just keeps on playing with her fingers and staring to the ground. Pinisil-pisil niya ang kaniyang mga daliri.

"Well?"

Maya-maya pa ay nakita ko ang mga patak ng luha na tumutulo at bumabagsak sa kaniyang backpack. She cried silently and after a few seconds, she started sobbing loudly. Kaagad siyang niyakap ni Danielle, whispering sweet nothings to her ears to calm her down. A few students glanced at us in curiosity.

"Natatakot ako. . .natatakot ako. . ." Paulit-ulit niyang wika. I noticed how her grip on Danielle tightened and her body started shaking.

Oh honey, you have no idea how being afraid really feels like.

"What's wrong, Mariah? Sabihin mo sa amin," Danielle cooed.

She shifted on her seat. Something fell from her bag and the moment I saw the white strip hit the ground and the two red lines on it, my eyes widen in surprise. I picked it up. This is my first time holding a pregnancy test. And it belongs to Mariah. Nagpalipat-lipat ang aking tingin mula sa pregnancy test at sa kaniyang mukha.

"Buntis ka?" I silently asked.

She cried harder, confirming it.Tahimik lang na nakatingin si Danielle sa aming dalawa. Nakatingin lang din akokay Mariah na halos manginig na sa takot, kaba, at lungkot. I saw the pain inher eyes. It was the same pool of sadness I sport every morning when I stare atmyself in the mirror.