Mary Grace

Twenty-One

Twenty-One

The door creaked as I slowly open it. I took a step inside and carefully close the door behind me.

I looked around.

As expected, the room had been kept clean and organized even if Ate Annie is long gone. Wala pa ring nagbago. Fresh bed sheets wrapped the bed and there are no signs of dusts or dirt in the curtains. The books are neatly arranged in the bookshelf.

"Hi, Ate Annie." I said silently. I immediately removed my shoes and carefully walked to her desk. Her laptop is sitting on top of it surrounded by a couple of pens, highlighters, and a thick reviewer. "Mind if I look around a bit?"

Narinig ko ang busina ng sasakyan ni Dad sa labas and the hurried footsteps of my mom. Their muffled voices speaking outside rang inside of my head for a while then it faded as they both went into the kitchen.

Tinitigan ko ang laptop ni Ate sa harapan ko. After contemplating for a while, I heaved a sigh and lifted the screen then pushed the power button. The logo of ASUS appeared on the center and after a while, her lockscreen showed up.

It was a picture of her and Harry. They were both grinning at the camera, Ate Annie holding a melting ice cream on her left hand and Harry's arms were wrapped around her shoulder.

I pressed enter. The password tab showed up.

"Let's see..." I said out loud. "What could be the password?"

I tried typing her birthday but the access was denied. I even tried Harry's name but it was also denied. I typed our surname but none of these let me entered her laptop.

I sank back into the swivel chair and looked up the ceiling.

"What could be the password? Their monthsary?" I had a funny feeling that it is but pushed it in the back of my mind. How would I know their monthsary? Should I call Harry and say, "Hey, so I was wondering, kailan ang monthsary niyo ng kapatid ko? Why? Because I'm trying to open her laptop. Baka alam mo ang password, yun lang naman."

I mentally slapped myself and pushed the power button off. I stood no chance of opening her laptop. Nilapitan ko ang kama niya at ibinagsak ang katawan ko doon. The sheets doesn't smell of her anymore. It smells like detergent.

I tried getting comfortable on her bed and falling asleep but I just can't. I feel really bothered. So I got up of the bed and went back into her desk. I grabbed an A4 paper sitting on the corner and a red pen just in front of me.

During Ate Annie's wake, I was asked to write an eulogy for her. But I didn't. I told them I wouldn't write one even if Sir Ferguson himself was encouraging me to do so. I didn't know what to write. I don't know what to say to Ate Annie back then.

I guess until now.

I was stuck with the word 'Ate Annie' on top of the paper. I couldn't think of anything to write. There is nothing special going on between me and Ate Annie. The last time I talked to her, we even had a fight. So it was very difficult for me to write something good about the dead person who happened to me my sister.

I tried wacking my brain for some memories. Wala akong maalalang masaya. We were both excited back then when we were little kids when we went to Davao Oriental. Sa lake house nila Tito Alistair.

But that is one of the memories I've been trying to erase from my brain. Ate Annie was so cheerful back then. Niyayaya pa niya akong maglaro ng manika and all that crap. She even braided my hair.

What should I write?

The red ink bleed on the paper as I pressed the pen firmly, thinking of something to write. Pero wala talaga akong maisip. Sweat began trickling down my forehead and my mind started buzzing up once again.

"Mary Grace?"

Muntik na akong mapatalon sa gulat nang biglang bumukas ang pintuan. Mom poked her head inside, her eyes squinting at me. Then she took a step inside. "What are you doing?"

I immediately hide the paper under the desk and drop the pen on the table. "Nothing in particular." I pulled myself up. "I was just looking around."

"Oh." She said and then eyed Ate Annie's wardrobe. "I was thinking of giving out her old clothes into the charity but then again, who wouldn't want to wear clothes from a dead girl?" She chuckled bitterly. "So I decided to keep it that way. Her clothes, her things, everything about her."

"I see." Kinuha ko ang sapatos ko sa sahig at naunang lumabas sa kwarto ni Ate Annie. "Magpapahinga po muna ako sa kwarto ko." I silently said but she didn't answered. I glance back. Mommy is staring into nothing inside my sister's room.

I felt a sting inside of my chest. Hindi ko alam kung anong isusulat ko para kay Ate Annie. Hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko kay mommy. I didn't know how to comfort her. I know she's hurting a lot right now. Twice the pain that I've been carrying for the past couple of weeks since she died. And she's trying her best to fix this messed up family.

While here I am, stuck in my head, not being able to move.

Nang makarating ako sa kwarto ko, I locked the door behind me and strip off my clothes. I went to bed with just my underwear and loose shirt. I pulled my hair up in a messy bun and checked my phone.

There were two messages.

Jeremy

Can we talk?

Harry

Any plans for the summer?

I tossed my phone on the table beside my bed and inserted myself on the tangle of sheets. I watched the clock slowly tick. I couldn't contain myself. I got up and grabbed my phone to type a reply.

But it was for Harry, not Jeremy.