Mary Grace

Eighteen

Eighteen

I watched Tito Alistair and Uncle Thomas talk to my parents for a while. Nasa tabi ko lang si Harry, nanunuod din sa bago naming bisita. After talking, Uncle Thomas whispered something to Tito Alistair. He nodded. Nilapitan ni Uncle Thomas ang kabaong ni Ate Annie.

Then, he started crying.

Nabigla ako pati na rin ang iba pang mga tao sa loob ng funeral house nang humagulhol si Uncle Thomas. Nagkatinginan pa kami saglit ni Harry. He was crying his heart out. He was sobbing loudly but I couldn't feel the pain on his fabricated tears.

I angrily pushed myself up from my chair. Still clutching the glass of water in my left hand, I approached Uncle Thomas and threw the water on his face. My dad stood up from his seat, clearly mad at what I just did.

"You have no right to cry over her." I said sternly, glaring at him as my heart pounded wildly inside of my chest.

One of the corners of his lips suddenly lifted up into a smirk. His tears eventually stopped streaming from his face and he began to chuckle. Until it turned into a wicked laugh and now his demonic laughter is echoing inside the funeral house.

But of course, it didn't happen.

Wala akong magawa kundi panuorin si Uncle Thomas na umiyak sa harapan nang maraming tao. Mom started crying as well, while Dad soothe her back. I wanted to throw out everything I ate that night at the sight of Uncle Thomas crying. Something feels... off.

My head started spinning.

"Are you okay?" Tanong ni Harry sa akin, clearly worried that I might just suddenly collapse from my seat.

I nodded my head. "Fine." I said groggily.

"She didn't deserve this!" Napalingon ulit ako nang marinig ko si Uncle Thomas. Nakayakap na siya ngayon kay Tito Alistair na pinipigilan ang sarili niyang umiyak. "Annie... Annie is such a good girl. She didn't deserve to die!" He continued wailing.

I covered both my ears from hearing his voice. It sent creeps down to my spine. This time around, Sir Ferguson approached me and placed his hands on my shoulder.

"Are you alright, Mary Grace? Do you want to sleep?"

"I'd love to..." I said quitely, slipping out of my seat and not bothering to bid goodbye to Harry. Sir Ferguson assisted me to the room and tucked me into bed. As much as I wanted to cry, I couldn't. I just feel really empty right now.

"You'll be alright, young lady." Sir Ferguson assured me. "You can get through this."

I nodded my head at him before I pulled the sheets to my face and in just a few minutes, fell back into my much needed sleep.

Morning came and I still didn't had the energy to even get up from my bed. May mga taong naglalabas-masok sa kwarto, most of them are just my relatives. Tito Emile's girlfriend, Rania, poked her head inside of the room and smiled when she saw that I am already awake.

"Want some breakfast?" She offered.

My gaze landed on her large tummy. Kabuwanan na ata niya ngayon. I really don't know the story between the two of them but I know that the child inside her womb is not Tito Emile's.

"Sure." I said, sliding out of the sheets and pulling myself out of the bed before I doze off to sleep again because I never even wanted to wake up in the first place. I grabbed a pair of skinny jeans and threw on a plain black v-neck shirt before I went out of the room.

Ang una kong nakita ay si Harry na natutulog sa upuan. No one seemed to care about him. Even my parents didn't talked to him ever since Ate Annie died. Bumalik ako sa kwarto at kinuha ang kumot na ginamit ko kagabi. I wrapped it around his body. He stirred a little kaya napahinto ako. I stared into his sleeping face for a second and pity him. He just lost his girlfriend. I can see it on his tired face and lonely eyes that it hit him a lot. They've been together for a long time and now that Ate Annie's gone, hindi ko alam kung makikita ko pa ba si Harry ulit.

My parents are preparing the food for the guests. Dad eventually stopped helping out and padded his way into the seat. He pulled himself down and silently stared at Ate Annie's coffin in front of him.

"Dad?"

He didn't budge. I licked my lips and sat beside him. "Daddy?"

"Oh." He jumped a little upon seeing me and forced a smile on his lips. "Hi, honey. Good morning. Kumain ka na ba?"

I shook my head no. "It's okay. I'll just eat later."

He nodded his head. "Right." Then he sighed. We were silent for a few seconds, just staring at the coffin. Mom spotted the two of us. She averted her gaze when I looked up at her but I saw the flash of sadness on her eyes.

"I'm sorry." I blabbered out loud.

Napalingon si Dad sa akin. "Sorry for what, hon?"

"I've never been a good sister to Ate Annie." Nahihiya kong wika. "We even had a fight just before she died. I felt to terrible."

"Everyone felt terrible at his sudden death, Mary Grace." He said calmly. "But it's me who feels like a shit the most. I'm his father and yet, wala man lang akong nagawa para iligtas siya. Heck, I didn't even had a clue that my own daughter is suffering from depression."

It feels so odd to be hearing Dad uses foul language. The walls he've built for most people is broken. He seems really vulnerable. I've seen him cry silently whenever he thought he is alone and no one is watching.

"Somehow, I feel like it's all my fucking fault." He shoved his face into his palm and shut his eyes closed. "I could've been a good father to her, but I choose my job instead. I failed Veronica again. I'm such a worthless shit."

Mas lalong sumikip ang dibdib ko sa pinagsasabi ni Dad. The worst thing is that, I don't even know how to comfort him.

With trembling knees, I stood up from the chair I was seating on. He didn't even bother to glance at me. Dad let me leave. I went outside to grab some air. Harry wasn't on the spot I last saw him.

"Mary Grace?"

I turned around and saw Uncle Thomas approaching me. My fists automatically balled. He is the last person that I really wanted to see right now.