Mary Grace

Seventeen

Seventeen

I stood in front of the mirror. A lonely girl dressed in black is staring back at me. It's half past seven o'clock and the funeral house is packed with Ate Annie's friends, relatives, and some of her professors at the university.

I still couldn't believe it. She's gone.

At ang masakit pa, we're not in good terms when she took the pills and ended her own life. Sobrang nagi-guilty ako knowing that it was me who brought the pills into the house. If I haven't brought it, she might be still alive today.

Nanlambot ang mga tuhod ko. I spotted Jeremy walking towards my direction. When he noticed that I'm losing control over myself, he ran towards me and grab my arms before I let myself collapse to the floor.

"Are you okay?" He asked, concern etched on his face.

I couldn't answer back. Tears began welling up my eyes and I found myself sobbing on Jeremy's arms again and soaking his shirt wet. All of them must've thought that I am crying because I lost my sister where in fact, I am crying because I'm the fucking reason why I lost my sister.

"Mary Grace?" He cooed softly. "Sshh.. That's okay,"

Humikbi ako nang humikbi na parang bata and I eventually fell asleep. Paggising ko, ramdam ko ang pamamaga ng mga mata ko sa kakaiyak. My body ache as well. I haven't had enough sleep since Ate Annie died. Puro nalang panakaw ang tulog ko. Kung minsan, ayaw ko pang matulog kasi gusto kong bantayan si Ate Annie na nakahimlay na.

A thick red blanket is wrapped around my body when I pulled myself up. I found a note on the small coffee table and a cup of steaming coffee. Mukhang kaaalis lang ni Jeremy dahil mainit pa ang kape. The note says that he's got something to do and he'll be back first thing in the morning. I took a gulp of the coffee before I headed outside. The room in the funeral house is large with a bed and a couch for family relatives who will be staying to take charge of Ate Annie's funeral but it's still suffocating for me.

Nang makalabas ako, ang una kong nakita ay si Mommy at Daddy. Natutulog si Mommy sa lap ni Daddy habang siya naman ay nakatulalang nakatingin sa kabaong ni Ate Annie sa harapan niya. I looked around and saw Sir Ferguson talking to someone, pati si Tito Emile ay nandito rin with his girlfriend, Ate Rania.

Tito Emile nodded at me. "Kumain ka na?" Malumanay niyang tanong sa akin.

I shook my head.

"Gusto mo bang kumain? May malapit na 7/11 dito. Pwede tayong pumunta muna doon," Ate Rania said carefully as if she's choosing the right words to say when she's only inviting me for a late night dinner.

"I'm fine." I said silently. I glanced outside and saw Harry sitting on the concrete stairs. "If you'll excuse me," I said, heading out of the funeral house.

Kaagad na lumingon si Harry when he heard my footsteps. His body is tensed but he somehow relaxed when he saw me. Or so I thought.

"Hi." I greeted awkwardly, sitting a few feet beside him.

He smiled but it didn't reached his ears and his eyes are pooling with sadness just like mine's. "Hi."

"Kanina ka pa dito?"

"Actually, I've been here for the past two days. It's just that you never noticed me. Palagi kang nakakulong sa kwarto at umiiyak. Sometimes, I would spot you sitting on the chairs and staring blankly at your sister's coffin," Diretso niyang sagot.

I nodded my head. "Yeah, quite an observant we've got here."

"How am I supposed to say this?" Itinaas niya ang ulo niya only to find a starless and empty dark sky above. "You looked really great in black clothes. I've only seen you worn it a few times but since your sister's funeral, you've been dressing in black and I find it very attractive."