Mary Grace

Ten

Ten

I STOPPED WALKING in front of our house. I looked up on the second floor and to the window located in my room. Dati-rati, kapag hindi ako makatulog, tumatayo ako mula sa kama ko at tinitingnan ang mga taong dumadaan sa harapan ng aming bahay. Dahil hating-gabi na, wala akong masyadong mapagmasdan. It's only the lonely street and the quiet neighborhood but it helps me to calm. I would look up to the stars then until sleep drags me back into the bed again.

I sighed. When I heard Mom's voice yelling something to my Dad, probably to grab something from the grocery, I hurried to the door. I walked faster and turned left to the corner of the street as if I am afraid to see them. Nagpatuloy ako sa paglalakad at hindi ko namalayan na dinala na pala ako ng mga paa ko sa harapan ng apartment ni Jeremy.

I didn't saw him earlier in school. Mukhang hindi ata siya pumasok. I've never spoken to him ever since our fight on my birthday. Hindi ko din siya maabutan sa kanilang classroom. So I ended up wandering alone in the school instead, especially if Danielle or Mariah have their own classes to attend.

I contemplated outside of his flat for a few minutes. My grip tightened on my kanken bag. I heaved a sigh and took a step inside of the unlocked gate. I didn't bother to knock. Dahan-dahan kong binuksan ang pintuan. I peeked inside the house. Walang nagbago. The same case of beer is sitting under the table the last time I saw it is still there. Hinubad ko ang aking mga sapatos. I scanned the surroundings before my eyes darted to his room upstairs.

"Jeremy?" I called, but it was almost a whisper. I waited for a reply for a few minutes but when he didn't, I decided to go upstairs instead. The door whined when I open it slowly, creaking in the process. The first thing I spotted is Jeremy's shirt on the floor. I picked it up and looked at the surroundings again. Clothes, towels, shoes, and his things are dotted everywhere. A nasty smell entered my nostrils. Jeremy is curled at the center of his bed with a thick blanket wrapped around his body.

Inilagay ko sa hamper ang kaniyang mga maruruming damit at dahan-dahan ko siyang nilapitan. "Jeremy?"

He didn't answere. But he stirred. Naupo ako sa kaniyang tabi. I placed my hand on his forehead and immediately withdrew it. "Inaapoy ka ng lagnat," I silently said.

Kaagad akong bumaba at hinanap ang mga gamot niya sa cabinet. Since I do not know how to cook, I raced to the mini grocery mart located six blocks from his apartment. I bought some fruits and Nissin cup noodles. Dali-dali kong inihanda ang kaniyang pagkain at pumasok ulit sa kwarto niya.

When I entered, he's already up. Jeremy annoyingly ripped his shirt off. Napatingin kaagad siya sa akin pagpasok ko.

"Uhm, I prepared some food for you," Mahina kong wika. He didn't reply. I sighed inwardly and approached him slowly. Inilapag ko ang tray sa side table niya. Jeremy silently ate while I watch him. "Kailan ka pa nagkalagnat?"

"2 days." Sagot niya. He grabbed the glass of water. I handed him his medicine.

"Sana man lang tinawagan mo ako," I squeaked—guilty that I, his girlfriend, wasn't even able to take care of him when he needs me the most.

Nang matapos na siyang kumain, tumayo ako mula sa pagkakaupo. "Sandali lang, lilinisin ko muna—"

"No," He grabbed my arms and pulled me back into his bed. Ramdan na ramdam ko ang hindi normal na pag-init ng katawan niya. He embraced me into a hug. "Stay here." He murmured, planting a kiss on my forehead.

I finally relaxed. Niyakap ko siya pabalik, wondering why my heart isn't beating fast compared to the first few months that we were together or the first time he hugged me. But nevertheless, I hugged him tighter as if I don't want to let him go.

We were like that for a few minutes. I noticed that he's slowly dozing off to sleep. Inaantok na din ako. I let my eyes close for a while and before I was finally pulled into sleep, I heard him whispered softly to my ears.

"I love you so much, Mary Grace. . ."

I could've been the cruelest person on earth when I pretended to sleep and didn't answer him. I shut my eyes. I know back then that as much as I am comfortable with his presence, with his warmth, it's not him that I am looking for anymore.

DANIELLE SHOOK HER head sadly. Napahawak ako sa aking sentido.

"Hanggang ngayon?

"Yeah," Nagsimula na kaming maglakad sa hallway. "Limang araw na siyang absent. Hinahanap na siya ng professor namin,"

"Puntahan kaya natin sa bahay nila?" I suggested.

Danielle cocked an eyebrow. "Are you sure?"

I nodded. The Atienza family is talented. But as much as they are blessed with their exceptional drawing and painting skills, it's not the kind of family you would wish for. Mariah's father is a drunkard. Binibiro niya pa kami noon na mas nakakapag-paint siya kapag lasing siya. But the truth is, every time he gets drunk, he leaves a mark not on the canvas but on Mariah's skin. Ang kaniyang ina naman, minsan nang nabugbog ng tatay nila nang makita niya itong may kasamang lalaki. Ilang beses nang sinubukan ng mama niya na itakas sina Mariah at kapatid niya sa tatay nila but she would always fail.

Hindi na nagsalita pa si Danielle. Tahimik lang kaming naglakad papalabas ng main campus. Dumaan kami sa gate 4 dahil mas malapit ang bahay nila Mariah kapag doon mo lalakarin. I keep on texting her but she won't reply. Sinabihan ko nalang siya na pupunta kami sa kanila ngayon.

"Mary Grace," Hinila ni Danielle ang strap ng aking backpack para mapatigil ako sa palalakad. Napatingin ako sa kanya at sinundan ang kaniyang tingin. Mariah just stepped out of an old building. It's Mrs. Eve's building. I do not know her real name but I am aware that she's the first person to run if you want to illegally abort a baby. In an old building that's used to be the barangay clinic resides Mrs. Eve. It's an open secret to everyone but no one dared to talk about it. Every time we saw someone emerges from the building, we would exchange glances with each other because we already have an idea what is going on inside.

"Mariah!" Tumakbo si Danielle at hinabol si Mariah. Mukhang nagulat ito nang makita kaming dalawa at binilisan pa ang kaniyang paglalakad pero mabilis siyang nahabol ni Danielle. "Anong ginagawa mo doon?" She demanded.

Binawi ni Mariah ang braso niya mula sa pagkakahawak kay Danielle at tiningnan siya nang masama. "Ano bang pakialam mo?"

We were both taken aback by Mariah's sour attitude. Danielle pursed her lips. "Nagpa-abort ka?"

Mariah turned her head away from us and took a step back.

"Mariah, did you abort the baby?" Danielle gritted her teeth.

Tiningnan ulit siya ni Mariah. I could see the flash of anger in her eyes and the same pool of sadness that is starting to consume her. "And what if I did? What do you care, Danielle? Wala rin naman kayong magagawa, eh!"

"Mariah, alam mo namang tutulungan ka namin—"

"Shut up!" She cut me off. Then she chuckled sarcastically. "Tutulungan ako? I saw the look on your face, Mary Grace when you found out that I was pregnant. I saw disgust and silent loathing. You must've been thinking that I am a slut for letting this happen—"

"Hindi totoo yan!" Tumaas na din ang boses ko.

Mariah's eyes started to water. "Really?" She blinked back her tears. "Good. Because I don't need so-called-friends who judges me too quickly. I don't need someone to kick me when I'm down. You know what I am saying?" She stared straight into my eyes. "I don't need you."

Danielle's hands hit across Mariah's cheeks. It immediately turned red from the impact. Hindi na napigilan ni Mariah ang maiyak but before Danielle could open her mouth, she stormed out and left the two of us in front of the old building, dumbfounded and hurt.