Get Out, If You Can

No Escaping Now

He couldn't understand what everyone meant. The constant questions, what he wanted, what he liked, what his goals were, if he had any plans for a family, or for a career. It all seemed like a repetition of the same questions. Just small talk, that's what he chalked it up to, considering it never really mattered, and no matter what his answers were, nobody was really listening. But that's how it always was though, right? Nobody really listens, nobody really cares, nobody really worried for him or even gave him a second thought. At least that's what he believed. That's what he told himself. With time, each person will disappear from his life, it was just another pattern, another process. It was the same with everyone that ever entered into his limited space. Like clockwork, they would all leave. As if they finally realized that what he said about himself was true, and he knew that they knew. But everyone chooses to brush off his warnings. Only to do exactly as he had predicted. It was human nature to be curious. Especially about the unknown, but when you're presented with the truth upfont, it's like reading a book and then at the end of it, you already knew what it would say, and it leaves you disappointed or hallow. And that's exactly how he felt, exactly how he was.

It almost seemed tedious to go through the same thing time and time again. To the point that it wasn't something worth pursuing anymore. And that's how he preferred it at this point. Loneliness was inevitable, emptiness was his essence, and the darkness would never leave him. If there is light, there is a shadow that was cast by it. But shadows disappear when the light is directly above you. And he always stayed on the sidelines for that purpose. This was the comfort zone that he had made for himself, there was no point in putting up with something that he couldn't find himself enjoying in the slightest bit.

"Are you even listening to me?"

He picks up his head from the desktop to look to the copper haired girl sat beside him. She had delicate features that reminded him of a flower. The small ones you find hidden in the grass, aching to be free of the confines of the thick green blades. Her eyes were large and shone a bright green that reflected the light easily, a splattering of freckles that danced across her cheek bones like a set of wings. Her nose was small yet sharp and her lips were plush and soft pink. Her copper hair fell in thick waves over her shoulders to the bottom of her ribcage. Though she covered herself up modestly unlike most of the girls in their college class. You could turn any which way and there would be some display of skin that edged on the border of provocative, but just enough. Not that it displeased him in the least, but seeing the girl beside him, so modest, it was preferable. Even if he knew it was because she was self-conscious and lacked the confidence to outshine the rest of the girls on this campus. He wouldn't say anything though, he wanted her to be comfortable with him.

"No, I am listening. You were going on about your younger brother being brought home by the authorities again. Though I wasn't listening as to why, petty theft again?" He quirks sounding completely disinterested in his monotonous tone.

"You're such an ass, TJ." She half laughs out and swats at his shoulder.

He can't help but chuckle along with her and straightens up, unfolding his arms from their crossed position to turn halfway in his seat. Propping his elbow on the surface of the fake wood of the cheap desk, he braces his jaw against his fist in a display of her now having his full attention. His mismatched eyes land on her and she squints a glare at him playfully. Their dynamic was peculiar, she didn't understand why he had chosen to be her friend where as most people ignored her and she could hear them whispering about how she was 'strange' behind her back. In truth, the whispers destroyed her, they weakened her and she didn't want to go out because of them. She chose to dress in all black because she couldn't agree with what colors would compliment her appearance, and she couldn't bring herself to even be bothered with trying. It was comforting to feel as if what she wore was uniform in a sense that it couldn't be picked apart. But people always found a way to do that regardless of anything that she did. Once when she was younger and in elementary school, someone she had trusted to be her friend, a boy named Kirby with blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and always dressed nicely had told her that she would be much prettier with longer hair. At the time her hair was cropped to her shoulders, so she had grown it out, believing and trusting his every word. Only to have the mean girls of the class to put gum in her hair and even one had snipped off a lock from sitting behind her. She had turned around in her mortification to see Kirby laughing along with the mean girls. But she had grown out her hair for the rest of her life and only relied on a trim. Despite everyone having made fun of her for her thick curls and ringlets, she felt more secure about herself, as if she were cloaked behind it, and that's where she would hide. She made sure to take good care of her hair and would forever be wary of others touching it. It was hers, and hers alone. But then she had met TJ, she could see the other girls and even some guys that would look fondly upon him. He had the build of someone athletic, but he never flaunted anything like that. He was dressed respectfully. In the colder seasons, it was hoodies or a nice jacket. In the warmer seasons, t-shirts and jerseys. Though he always wore jeans, never shorts. He said that it made his ankles feel weak if they were exposed when she asked one time. Everyone else talked with him regularly, and he always looked to be so disinterested, as if his mind was elsewhere, and sometimes even those people would stop talking to him. Though she could see the longing in their eyes, he was handsome, his shaggily short black hair, his sharp jawline, his facial features as if they were carved from stone, and of course his mismatched eyes. It was something that you wouldn't be able to tell right from the beginning, he never fully looked at anyone dead on, it was always a halfturn, so his darker eye was hidden by the fall of the lighting on the angle of his face. But one was definitely more golden and the other a golden hazel green. And he had never smiled at anyone, but he had caught her starring one day. It had been a week into the math class and he had turned to look at her abruptly, it startled her that she couldn't even look away in time and instead tensed up. He had smiled, as if in amusement, but the way his smirk quirked, it wasn't a sneer. It was endearing. After that, he had made a point to greet her every time he came into the class. He was always one of the ones that was last. She had found out that that was due to the fact that the class before this, he had to walk all the way across the campus. Thinking about it now, she had realized that she didn't truly know anything about him, such as his major, or what classes he was taking, what he was like in his younger years, or what he did outside of that classroom. She had fallen into the ease of speaking with him, he had inquired a few times about her and she would meekly respond. Until it felt comfortable enough, she was sure that they were friends, because he only spoke with her, and he never switched seats, even if she moved around the classroom, he would always sit beside her.