HS - Wish You Were Here - Part 1 - Harry Styles

Chapter 8

Clanging coming from Bec's kitchen makes me slowly peel one eye open as patchy memories from the night before come literally thumping back into my head.  I can't remember exactly how I managed to get into my pyjamas but as I feel the clumps of mascara embed into my eyelashes I know I definitely didn't stay conscious long enough to take my make up off.

"Urghhh" I groan, my head feeling like someone is hitting it repeatedly with a baseball bat.

I roll out of Bec's spare bedroom and walk straight to the bathroom, stripping my clothes off as I go and sigh in relief as the warm water from the shower soaks my skin.

What the hell happened last night? 

The series of events runs through my mind as a play by play. We were having the best time until... he said that.. why did he say that? What did he mean? The sadness in his eyes is engrained into my otherwise foggy memory.

Does he have feelings for me? No, he couldn't, my subconscious throws in.  I refuse to believe Harry Styles of all people feels more than friendship towards me.  I mean we get along so well, almost better than anyone I've met before and in the last 4 months we have become insanely close but I've never thought about it turning into something else for him.  

Maybe its not about feelings at all? Maybe he just wants to sleep with me?  Is it insulting that he might see me like one of his disposable women that come in and out of the revolving door of his bedroom? It cant be about sex. Not only is he one of the most talented, witty, breathtakingly handsome men on the planet, he also sleeps with women that are not even on my eye level let alone in my league.  

Why would he want me?  Why do I care?

Dan and I are not jealous people, I trust him and he trusts me but if I knew his best friend had feelings for him then that would change things. I don't want to lose my friend but I don't want my fiancé to feel threatened either.


Maybe I'm misreading this whole thing and he meant something completely harmless?  I try to convince myself. 

Should I ask him about it or just pretend like it never happened? 

My mind is filtering a million questions and I barely notice the water running cold as I run my hands over my face in confusion trying to still the thoughts flying around in my head. I'm way too hungover to deal with this right now, I need to get my shit together and get on a train back to Paris.

I wrap a towel around me and scurry into the bedroom to pull on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt.  As I walk into the kitchen looking like I've been hit by a truck, Bec swirls around from the stove she's cooking on looking like she did nothing but have a quiet night in and got eight hours of solid sleep.

"HIYA!" She says far too brightly for my sensitive ears and I know she's doing it to rub in my face how good she feels.

"Oh, piss off!" I joke sitting at the table and resting my head down on my folded arms.

"Here, party animal." I hear her laugh as she puts coffee, painkillers and a plate of french toast down next to my head.

"Oh my god, you're amazing" I croak, genuinely grateful.

"So," She says as she puts her own plate down on the table next to me. "Do you wanna talk about what happened last night?"

I shake my head and shovel bread into my mouth. "Not even a little bit. My brain can't deal with anything other than making it to the station for the 11:09 train."

She looks at my pathetic, hungover face and laughs. "OK, OK! But as your older sister I'm just going to say one thing. If you don't think that delicious man wants to bang you, you're kidding yourself."

I groan and drop my head back onto the table. Fuck. 

"Oh honey, if you want to trade places I am happy to volunteer.  Imagine how good he is in the sack!" She laughs. 

I cover my ears and can't help but giggle as she raises her eyebrows suggestively. 

---

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket as I'm finding my seat on the train.

*Hey love, how's the headache?* I read Harry's text once I've sat down, wishing I had another couple of hours sleep before I had to talk to him.  My sisters words are on repeat like a broken record in my brain. Maybe she's wrong? She has to be. 

*I'm dying a slow, painful death. How yours?* I respond, deciding to avoid the elephant in the room for as long as possible.

*Both my head and my house have seen better days* I cringe, feeling guilty I didn't help clean up the mess before fleeing the country. The mess in his head or in his house?  My subconscious smirks reminding me what I have to do.

*Sorry, I should have stayed and helped last night.  I just don't really understand what happened, Harry.  What did you mean by what you said?*   I hold in a deep breathe and hit send.

*Just my luck, you remember that huh? :) I'd rather talk about it in person at lunch today if that's ok?*


Shit! In my haste to get back home and clear my head I had forgotten all about the lunch plans we had made last night.

*OMG I'm so sorry, I'm already on the train, I completely forgot. Can we talk on Skype later instead?*

*On the train already?! I thought you weren't leaving until tonight?*

*I wasn't, but I had a change of plans.* I lie, my brain still too foggy to come up with a better excuse as to why I switched tickets to the earliest train out of London I could get.

*Sure. Skype later. X*   He responds and I know he can see straight through my lie.

*I'll let you know when I get home. X* I text back before shoving my phone into my pocket and drifting off into restless sleep.