HS - Wish You Were Here - Part 1 - Harry Styles

Chapter 23

HARRY'S POV

I hand Liv a clear plastic folder as we sit on the bar stools at the kitchen counter picking at a bunch of grapes Mrs Stewart had brought around yesterday.

John had just left and Liv had proudly announced she had packed all my things into two suitcases saying she added a couple of things she thought I might need. 

The car was coming in half an hour to take me to the airport for tomorrow night's show in Dublin and I was starting to panic at the thought of not seeing her for so long.

I open the folder while it's still in Liv's hands taking out the contents and laying it out onto the marble bench in front of us.

"OK," I start, grabbing the first piece of paper, "This is a list of all the phone numbers you could ever possibly need. Hotel numbers, the crew's numbers, John's number, tour managers, all the security team, Mrs Stewart.."

She nods and her face is serious, no doubt coming up with worst case scenarios in her head that could warrant having the need to call any of these numbers.

"Just in case, darling." I reassure her and she takes a deep breath in, giving me a little smile.

I continue, picking up a thick booklet management has prepared and distributed,

"This is the full itinerary, what city I'm in, what hotel I'm at, what venue I'm playing in, what times we are flying in and out..." I trail off seeing a smile ghost her lips.

"You know you're not going on an expedition to Mars with no internet or phone reception right?" She teases and I shove my shoulder into hers playfully and continue, knowing this is for my peace of mind more than hers.

"So, I might be able to come home for a few days in between legs but it will be assessed closer to the date, more press or appearances can be booked in at the last minute. But I hope I can come back at least for a day or two"

She looks at me, her mind a million miles away as she stares at me like she's trying to decipher what I'm saying.


"What happened with Kristie last night?" 



"What? Nothing, it was nothing." I'm taken by surprise and I start to panic, running my hand through my hair and changing the subject.

"If you want to come to any show, anywhere, just let me know and I'll fly you in." I say sincerely, pushing my hair behind my ear and she shakes her head.

"That's ridiculous, Harry! I won't let you do that." She exclaims, and I want to tell her I would fly her everywhere with me if she let me.

"It's not ridiculous, Liv, it's not a big deal, just think about it, ok? You can bring the girls and come for a weekend somewhere?" I beg, trying to bargain with her.

She stares at me again with the same strange look she gave me before and takes my hands in hers, pulling me gently off my stool to stand in front of her.

I feel her arms around my neck and legs wrap around me from where she sits and I engulf her body, burying my face into her neck and pulling her as close as I possibly can.

"I'm going to miss you so much" She whispers into my neck.

I swallow the lump in my throat before saying, "You have no idea." and I feel her arms squeeze tighter.

We stay like this until the doorbell rings, my stomach surges forward and I'm not sure I can hold it together when she walks me to the door and slow tears stream down her beautiful face.

"I'll call you everyday, ok?" I say wiping her tears away with my thumbs and kissing her forehead, "Like it used to be when you were in Paris."


She nods softly and sniffles and when she looks into my eyes I think my heart is going to internally combust.

I wait until I'm ten minutes down the road before I let the tears I was holding in come cascading from my eyes.  Wiping them away quickly with the back of my hand telling myself I have no reason to be this upset.

I try and distract myself by writing back to the build up of text messages I have wishing me good luck for the tour and congratulations on the show last night and send long messages about pointless rubbish to Frankie, Mum and Xander

Mum sends me a message back, ignoring everything I wrote to her and simply writes, *She'll be fine, Harry.*

I know Liv will be fine, apart from her horrendous cooking skills she is independent and self sufficient, she has moved countries, twice, been engaged, travelled all over and has amazing friends and family. 



I wasn't worried she wouldn't be ok, I was worried she would be ready to move on from Dan and I wouldn't be there, I was worried I would miss out on the one thing I needed more than anything I've ever needed before and it terrified me.

The thought of losing her to someone else again made me feel sick to my stomach.


My phone vibrates and I look down to see a text from MY BEST FRIEND LIV.


*Just checking you're still on Earth. What was the catering manager's number in Budapest again? I'm so proud of you, I love you.*


I chuckle through fresh tears building, shaking my head at her message that is equally part smart-arse and part deeply sincere.

*Mars to Earth. Do you copy? It's on the list. Thank you, I love you too.*

I made it to Dublin and am settling into my hotel room, getting ready to grab some dinner with John and his assistant, Adriana.

With a towel around my waist I'm cursing myself for not being more organised as I try and find my underwear in the two suitcases Liv has packed as well as the three from management filled with designer clothes from the stylist they had hired.

Just as I'm promising myself to repack everything tonight I find them neatly stacked and next to the box of condoms I deliberately didn't pack but Liv obviously thought I would need.

I shake my head and grab the top pair of boxer briefs, already counting down the minutes until I can call her after dinner, when I hear something drop from the material and back into the bag.


I look down and curiously pick up the blue envelope, ripping the top open without hesitation and pulling out two objects.

The first, is a card with an old school picture of skydivers from the 1970's and the words "Addicted to the Adrenaline" printed on the front, I smile and open it to find Liv's handwriting.

Harry,

This is for when you are "searching for the familiar in a sea full of unrecognisable faces."

Olivia x

I look at the polaroid photo that was in the envelope. It was the one Frankie had taken of Liv and I from the night Kristie had arrived, before the dreaded knock at the door.

Liv looks at me sitting close beside her, my arm around her waist, her eyes sparkling and they look at me with honesty and trust.

Her smile is so warm and bright, she looks young, alive, happy.

I'm smiling back at her, biting my lip and it becomes painfully clear how everyone seems to be aware of my feelings for her without me having to tell them.

Love pours from my eyes into hers and adoration for her is written as clear as day all over my face.

All of a sudden reality hits me as I stare at the photo and card.

She knows. And to some degree, she feels it too.