The Kidnapper's Wife

68. Before

"So," the brown haired girl sitting at my kitchen table has leaned back in her chair, wobbling slightly on the two legs as she balances, "What you're like...preggers?"

Her tone is disdainful and uninterested, but I can tell that it's intonation is intentional, she's interested but trying not to be.

"Yes, Connor and I are expecting a baby." I smile at her, trying to keep my tone upbeat and excited, but it's hard. For some reason, Anna has never taken to me like the kids I volunteer with. It's as if I have personally offended her in some way every time she sees me. It's all glares and side-eyes and crossed arms. At first, I tried to make an effort to overcome it, but after a while, it became clear that whatever I had done to her, she wasn't ever going to let it go.

"When," she says now, contempt dripping from her voice.

"In February." I pick up the empty glass in front of her and start taking it to the sink.

"Hey!" she snaps at me, "I wasn't done with that."

"Anna there's nothing in it and you're leaving in two minutes, as soon as Connor comes back with his keys. You are done. And if you aren't well, you can get water when you get home."

Somehow her expression of dislikes intensifies even more.

"B-----" she mutters something barely distinguishable under her breath.

"Excuse me?"

Anna looks at me defiantly for a minute, then explodes. "You're such a B**** Jade. Like God, you need to chill out like, all the time."

I put the glass down and walk over to her, "Anna my husband gives his valuable time to help tutor you. We give you dinner almost every day, for free. We let you eat with us, taking time away from our relationship. If you expect to keep receiving these things, then I would not use curse words to describe your host." my voice is even, carefully controlling the anger threatening to spill out from behind it.

Anna doesn't speak, just continues to glare at me.

Connor walks into the room, and immediately senses the tension, usually he acts like it's nonexistent, but today he must sense a new line has been crossed because he says, "What's going on here? Jade? Honey? Are you all right?"

I turn and look at him. I know he can see the anger in my eyes, anger that is now directed at him, for bringing this evil girl into our lives, for forcing her upon me constantly. But I won't fight in front of Anna. "Everything is fine Connor. Anna was just saying how she's ready to go home."

"I wasn't-" Anna starts but I interrupt her, "Here," I hand Connor his rainjacket, "It's supposed to start thunder storming any minute." 

It takes all my strength to continue to be a good host and I repeat in my head on loop "Anna has a hard home life. Anna is a teenager. This isn't personal, it's not her fault," as I hand Anna an umbrella too. 

"Thanks babe," Connor goes along with my calmness, and gives me a kiss on the mouth. When I open my eyes, I notice Anna has looked away from us. 

"I'll be back soon, go put on some comfy clothes!" he gestures at the work pants and blouse I'm still wearing, as Anna follows him out the garage door. 

When the door slams shut behind him, I collapse into the chair Anna has just vacated, placing a hand on my belly. I'm not even showing yet, but just the idea that my little baby is in there is comforting. I wonder if Anna is getting to me more because I'm pregnant. Aren't the hormones supposed to make you crazier than usual? Maybe that's what's happening. 

When Connor comes back in, I'm still sitting in the chair, still in my work clothes. 

"Babe! Why are you still dressed?" he exclaims, looking concerned.

I look up at him, and steel myself for a fight. "Connor," I begin, "Do you know what Anna said to me just now?"

He immediately looks weary, "What?"

"Anna called me a b****." I say evenly.

Connor sighs, looking defeated already. "I'm sorry Jade. You know I told you about her home life-"

"No." I say simply.

Connor looks at me in confusion.

"That's not enough anymore." I say simply, "I understand that Anna has it hard at home. But how hard can she really have it Connor? She plays sports, she excels at school, she's on robotics club, and her parents are at every game, every match. Now I don't know what happens behind closed doors. And I don't mean to trivialize Anna's situation. But she doesn't get to keep taking it out on me."

I stand up now, so my face is closer to his level. "I have tried to be nice to her. I have tried so hard. And she hates me. And that's fine, it doesn't matter. But Anna is here, in my home everyday. Eating my food. Subjecting me to her moods. And she's not my daughter. She's not my responsibility. I don't have to take her behavior. If she can't be graceful and appreciative of what you, and what I, are doing for her, then she is not welcome here. It's been weeks. I haven't ever done anything to her. And I know you wnat to help her Connor, and I admire you for that, but I didn't sign up for this. I didn't sign up to work long days at work, feeling more tired than usual with this baby, to come home and be called a b**** in my own house. I didn't sign up to feel her moodily glaring at me for 2 hours."

I take a breath and continue, "I wouldn't accept this behavior from my own daughter, but there's nothing I can do about her. I can discipline her, I can't make her stop. But I can make it end. Anna is no longer welcome in this house. When she can treat me with the same respect that she treats you with and that I treat her with, we can revisit the issue, but I will not be abused anymore. I'm sorry Connor. But I am putting my foot down."

Connor doesn't say anything so I add, "And its not good for the baby. Me dealing with this stress and moodiness. If not for me, then for our future child, this has to change."

Again, there is a silence, but this time I let it go on until Connor finally speaks.

"I know." he says.

"You...what?" I'm surprised by his response, ready for a fight.

"It's too much to ask of you Jade. I want to dedicate my life to helping children like Anna, but you never volunteered for this. You don't want to help her. I do. And I can't put my wants and dreams on top of you. I know that. Anna is lashing out at you, because she has deep rooted issues with female authority. I'm trying to help her through that. But until I do, you're right, I should bear the brunt of what I've signed up for, not you. This is my passion, not yours. I knew that helping kids would be hard, but that was my choice, not yours."

I stare at him, my mouth having fallen open sometime during his little speech. 

"I-I..." I'm not sure how to respond. Somehow he's twisted my words around and made me sound like an awful, unhelpful person.

"That's not what I meant." I blurt out. 

"No Jade," he crosses the room and puts his hands on my shoulders, "I understand. It's okay. I promise, you will not have to deal with Anna anymore. I will tutor her at school instead, and I will pack dinners for us there. Yes, I might miss out on dinners with you, but it'll be worth it for you not to have to go through this anymore."

"No! I don't want you gone for dinner every night."

"Jade, be reasonable. Anna needs the help. And you support my decision to help disadvantaged kids don't you? You're the person who pushed me into volunteering in the first place. We both know that sacrifices must be made. I know that you don't want to make them, but I have to. This is for your own sake. So you don't have to be around Anna anymore."

"But then I'll never see you. I don't know. Maybe I can try to ignore Anna and she can still just come over."

"No, no! You're right. The stress isn't good for the baby. It's not your job to help Anna Jade, it's mine. Don't worry. You won't have to have poor little Anna, with all her abusive issues, annoy you ever again."

As he pulls me into a hug I'm half angry, half relieved, half sad, half insulted, and wholly confused.