Forever And Never

THIRTEEN || SASHA

It cannot be him. I run through the video multiple times, slowing it down every second. The voice is all too familiar, so familiar that I want to deny it.

"Wait, watch out! Watch out!"

My hands tremble as I shut off my laptop. The air feels cold and empty. I feel as if I am locked in a gas chamber, waiting to suffocate to my death. The basement doesn't feel so safe anymore.

Standing up, I walk over to the tall drawers and grab the photograph of Daniel. Dust has clouded his image and I gently wipe them away with the pad of my finger.

"Noona," he asks after a couple minutes. "What happens when you die?"

I look up from my coloring book. "I don't know. Umma says we're going to heaven but sometimes I feel like that doesn't exist."

Daniel shrugs. "Maybe. Or we could turn into ghosts and scare little kids. Or we could reincarnate."

A small laugh escapes my lips. "Reincarnation doesn't exist, Daniel. And if it did, you'd probably come back as a rat."

The pillow hits my face and I yelp in alarm. Daniel laughs and ducks for cover as I pick up the pillow, throwing it back at him.

"Get over here, rat!" I scream, hitting his head with the pillow. Daniel shrieks with laughter and picks up another one behind him.

"Come and get me!" He yells back, running out of the room.

I bite down on my bottom lip, holding back the heavy tears. My throat tightens and I take heaving breaths, forcing myself to stop crying.

"Daniel," I look down at his picture. He smiles back at me, the sparkle of mischief in his eyes still so visible. I sniffle and wipe the tears away, even as they end up dripping down into fat droplets onto the photograph. "Daniel, I'm so sorry..."

+

The next morning, there are police officers in the office building. News reporters crowd the entrance as they try to snap pictures of this so-called money smuggler that was caught earlier. I stand next to my parents, holding Pippa in my arms protectively.

"Take my wife and daughter to the back entrance," my father tells two of his bodyguards. He turns to address the rest of them. "I want these people out of here by lunchtime."

"Yes, sir." The bodyguards answer. The two that my father had instructed personally escort my mother and me to the back entrance of the building. I try to see the face of the criminal but there are too many people gathered at the front.

"Who did the police catch?" I ask my mother as we walk into the elevator.

She looks down at me. "I'm not so sure. Your father never said."

The elevator carries us to the top floor and the bodyguards walk us over to my mother's office. They guard the door once we all step inside. I let Pippa down and make my way to the windows, hoping to see what is happening.

"Sweetheart," my mother says. "Come over here."

I turn away from the window and walk towards where my mother is seated. She opens up a link onto her computer, and it takes me a few seconds to realize that she's playing the news that is showing the exact same footage happening just a few floors below us. Cameras are flashing everywhere and people are thrusting their microphones to a person whose head is bowed.

My hand flies to my mouth in shock.

"He doesn't look so familiar," my mother mumbles. "What department is he from?"