If I Were A Boy

Is That I'm Right

"Seriously?!" Matthew's eyes widen as I nod

"No wonder he's been acting like such a jerk!" Clara exclaims

I just finished explaining to Matthew and Clara about what happened between me and Kayden.

"Ash, can I talk to you.....in private?" Matthew asks awkwardly

"I'll be there....with Mandy.....so..." Clara says before leaving

"So, what's up?" I say

"I've been worried about Asher, have you heard from him lately? He hasn't been answering my calls and messages." Matt says worriedly

I already feel bad that Matt doesn't get to contact Asher whatsoever. Seeing him telling me this, in person, is not making me feel any better. You can see the worry and agitation in his eyes. I can feel the guilt rushing in my chest, the heavy burden that I have to carry in my shoulders. My heartbeat going faster and faster by the second. I am officially having a panic attack!

"Oh my gosh, Ashley!" Is the last thing I hear before my vision fades.

I wake up to the sound of murmurs to realize that I'm in a hospital bed and those murmurs are coming from my parents talking to a doctor.

"Ashley's awake!" Anne yells as she rushes to my side.

"I'll give you a moment with your daughter." The doctor says before leaving

As I attempt to sit up, I give myself a slap of reality and realize all that's happened this school year. Tears start to stream down my face slowly.

".......I can't" I whisper as I start to burst into tears.

"What do you mean you can't?" My mom asks worriedly

"All of this! I can't lie anymore mom! It's too painful." I say before I burst into tears

"Don't worry, we'll fix this" my mom says as she comforts me

Lately I've been distant with people. Not to mention, I've also been lying to them. I feel like I've made it my life's goal to find out a secret of a person who I don't even care about.

I'm coming to a realization that I'm not turning into Asher because I'm scared of Kayden. I'm not turning into Asher because I'm tired of using Asher as an escape route and for being someone I'm not. I love Matthew, and I'm not gonna lie, lying to him like this sucks! I hate that I have to be Asher so I can express my feelings for him in public. I also hate that Asher was the only way I could've been friends with Clara. My life lately, has been revolving around Asher, a person who I've made up and cannot throw away because he's the reason why my life doesn't suck. And what I hate the most right now, is that I'm right.

PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I know I haven't updated in a long time and I'm sorry. I know you're tired of my stupid excuses but I'm serious, school is a pain in the butt. Yet it's the only thing that'll bring me to he road of success. The good news is....IT'S ALMOST SEMESTER BREAK! So now I'll be able to update more often.

Will Ashley be ok? Will Ashley be able to live without Asher? When will Kayden get off of Ashley's back?

Find out in the next chapter of "If I Were A Boy". Anyways, cya!:)