You are in Love

admitting is the first step

Cristina headed back into the hospital, coffee in hand, and her mind racing. She needed someone to talk to, but she knew it couldn't be Meredith. Meredith and Amelia were too close. She got in the elevator and went up to the peds floor. She glanced around for Alex and saw him coming out of a patients room. "Karev!" she exclaimed just loud enough to get his attention, "got a minute?"

Alex nodded and put his chart on the nurses station. "For you? Always. What's up?" He noticed she was twisting her rings, "is everything okay?" He opened the door to an exam room and motioned her to go in.

"You can't be mad at me, you can be disappointed or whatever, but you were my friend first," she said as he closed the door. "You have to take my side." 

"I'm always on your side, now tell me what's going on." Alex crossed his arms and leaned back on the wall. 

"I slept with Owen." She released her wedding rings as she said his name, and bit her lip. 

Alex took a minute to let it sink in. "Cris," he paused, "you're married..." 

She nodded, "I know that, Alex." She rubbed her face and sat on the edge of the exam table, "it's like he's got some sort of hold on me, Alex. When he's not around I'm perfectly happy, but when he is," she paused and looked around, "I don't know what's the matter with me." 

Alex took a seat next to her, "are you going to tell Cole?" 

"Do you think I should?" she looked at him wide eyed. 

"Is it going to happen again?" 

"I hope not." 

"Cristina, do you love him?" 

"Owen or Cole?" she stuttered. 

"Owen. I'd hope you love Cole." 

She bite her lip and thought for a second, "I think I'm always going to love him. Maybe not in the same way that I used to, but there's always going to be something there." 

"I understand that," he thought of Izzie for just a second, "just do what feels right, but if you don't think you can stay away from Owen I think you need to tell Cole."

She nodded, "I'm just going to keep my distance." 

"Good luck, Yang." He said as she got up to leave the room. She gave him a nod and headed down the hall to check on a patient.