R(WBY)ed vs Blue: All's Fair In Love And War

Chapter 7: Can I Keep It?

Crash Site Bravo
Blue Base

You, Tucker, Wash, Team RWBY and Penny look at Caboose and Freckles in silence.

Tucker: So...

Freckles turns towards Tucker.

Tucker: Nevermind.

Weiss: Caboose...

Freckles turns towards Weiss.

Weiss: ...Tell me again, where did you find this... robot?

Caboose: His name is Freckles.

Tucker: That's a stupid name.

Freckles turns his guns back at Tucker as Yang subtly hits him.

Tucker: -Stupid-cool I mean! Great name, I mean, I wish that were my name. Yeah, Freckles is the best name ever that there ever was!

(L/N): Technically it's a Mantis class military assault droid.

Tucker: Wait, why Mantis?

(L/N): Well you see those legs? They kinda resemble the legs of a praying mantis.

Tucker: No they don't.

(L/N): Then maybe it's the head shape?

Caboose: Yeah, maybe its because during the act of procreation they rip off the head of their mates body and devour it. It's like an act of sexual cannibalism.

Yang: Eww... what?!

Penny: That is most certainly interesting...

Tucker: Eh, I've dated worse.

Caboose: Yeah, I call him Freckles because of the spots on his nose.

(L/N): Huh. Well shit, I actually have to give it to Caboose on this one. He definitely looks more like a Freckles than a Mantis.

Weiss: So, Caboose... Where did you find... Freckles?

Caboose: Well I was walking and I was sad and I missed Church-

Tucker: This is the greatest story of our generation.

Weiss: Quiet.

Caboose: And then I heard a noise-

Tucker: Seriously, It's like I was there.

Weiss: Tucker!

Caboose: -Yeah and then I saw the little guy under like pieces of rock and space ship and body parts, but I just moved them out of the way and then there he was and now we're best friends forever! Right Freckles?

Freckles: Affirmative, Caboose.

(L/N): Well, that's just great. Boy meets dog. Dog turns out to be a military-grade killing machine from a crashed spaceship.

Washington: Caboose... Um, you know, a pet is a lot of responsiblitlity.

Caboose: That is why I will water him and I will feed him every day.

(L/N): Water and feed? What the hell does this thing run on?!

Caboose: It runs on the power of the friendship of our love!

(L/N): That is so fucked.

Blake: Hey, didn't Tucker give birth to a baby alien a few years back?