R(WBY)ed vs Blue: All's Fair In Love And War

Chapter 12: Finders Keepers

(A/N):
Okay, now I know what you're thinking. 'Hey shitface, why the fuck have you not updated this story in 3 motherfuckin weeks? Those 6 other chapters don't count because they're a mini-series' Maybe not what you're actually thinking, but it's probably in the ballpark.  And the only actual excuse is I'm lazy as shit, along with that I've hit a writer's block with the events that happen in Seasons 12 and 13. I don't have a way to write this joke into the this A/N, so, here it is: Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace: RWBY Edition was a good episode.

I would also like to say, My bad.

Crash Site Bravo
Blue Base

Simmons watches a gravity lift as Tucker enters the room. Tucker groans.

Tucker: This blows. I don't know a first thing about fixing intergalactic radios.

Simmons: Uh huh.

Tucker: Every movie that I've ever seen with a repairman on it always glosses over the actual repairing part. It's just, "Hey baby, I'm here to lay some pipe!" and then bam, two scoops of raisin!

Simmons: Uh huh.

Tucker: Dammit woman! If you let the man do his job, then maybe we wouldn't be in this mess.

Simmons looks at Tucker.

Simmons: Hey Tucker, what the fuck is this thing?

Tucker: It's a gravity lift. You step on it, and it takes you upstairs.

Simmons: I know that, but what the fuck is it doing here?

Tucker: It's glowing and goes-

Tucker makes glowing sounds, imitating the grab lift.

Simmons: So let me get this straight. We're survivors of a shipwreck, living off of the bare necessities, and in the middle of the room is this incredible feat of modern-day technology.

Tucker: I don't know. Wash found it on the ship and put it on the base. What's so weird about that?

Simmons: It's like finding a car made of rocks, plastic and a bluetooth radio.

Tucker: Oh, we've got that too.

Siri's iPhone jingle is heard.

Tucker: Siri, play: song dance theme.

Siri: Did you mean Bomb Andy?

Tucker: Ah, piece of shit.

Siri: Calling Bomb Andy.

Simmons: How are you able to power all of this?

Tucker: We're hooked up to the ship.

Simmons: You mean you have a direct line to a limitless power supply?

Tucker: Well, no, we'll definitely run out of fuel eventually, just not anytime soon. So who cares, take as much as you want.

Simmons: God bless the American way.

Tucker: What are you gonna do?

Simmons runs into the gravity lift.

Simmons: Just a side project!

Washington: Hey, Caboose!

Tucker turns to see Wash running over to Caboose and Freckles outside the base.

Washington: I've secured the perimeter. No bad guys to be found.

Caboose: Excellent work Commander Washington! I admire your determination! Why, maybe someday, you could be the leader of Blue Team!