R(WBY)ed vs Blue: All's Fair In Love And War

Chapter 13: +1 Follower

Crash Site Bravo
Blue Base

Tucker watches Simmons working on a console as Wash walks up.

Washington: What is all this?

Simmons: It's the future.

Tucker: Where the hell have you been?

Washington: I've been doing everything I can to keep us alive.

Tucker: Oh really? Then where were you when Freckles tried to kill me for calling his tiny hat stupid?!

Washington: I thought you didn't need me protecting you, Tucker.

Simmons: Hey, guys. I'm trying to revolutionize the world of inter-canyon communication. So if you could keep it down, that'd be great!

Washington: What is he talking about?

Simmons: I'm talking about... the internet!

Simmons stands up and reveals the new "Simmons" search engine.

Computer: Welcome!

Tucker: Oh my god. Everybody leave. Everybody leave right now. There's something I've gotta do.

Washington: The internet?

Tucker: Seriously. You're gonna see some shit if you don't leave.

Simmons: Well, it's not really the internet. The only two points of communication are Red and Blue Base.

Tucker looks down disappointingly.

Tucker: Why would you lie to us like that?

Tissues and Vaseline are seen behind Tucker.

Washington: You put one of these at Red Base too?

Simmons: Yeah. I had to sneak past Freckles, but it was totally worth it!

Washington: Why?

Simmons: Behold!

The Computer cuts to the "Basebook" homepage.

Washington: Basebook?

Simmons: Yeah. It's a site that lets you post pictures, videos and even text posts so that your friends always know what you're up to. It's revolutionary!

Washington: Revolutionary? The first social media sites were created hundreds of years ago.

Tucker: And there are no friends in this canyon. Only forced acquaintances.

Simmons: Yeah, but those old sites just turned into amogarations of attention whores. Nothing but teenagers who wanted to prove they were cool and old people who wanted to prove they were still relevant.

Tucker: So what's the point of Basebook?

Simmons: Oh, y'know. Just wanna keep in touch with my friends on the Red Team while I'm your prisoner. Can't let them forget about Ol' Simmons!

Simmons starts laughing, which soon breaks down into crying.

Washington: ...Well... I'm glad you spent your time in captivity on something meaningful.

Tucker: So you made it. What now?

Simmons: Well, let's see what Sarge is up to.

Simmons checks the computer.

Simmons: Uh huh. Hmm. Hasn't set up his profile yet... That's cool. Umm I'll just wait for an update. He has to have an update. Yeah I'm sure it'll come eventually. Huh, updates. He he ha, he he...