bts angst imagines/scenarios (CLOSED)

namjoon × reader: see's you self harming

It was just like any other day. Namjoon was at work, and you were laying down with some shitty TV show playing. You twirled a lighter in your hand.

You were wearing shorts, something you only did alone. The scars and new blisters were on full display. Your attention shifted from the tv to the lighter in your hand. It was almost out of lighter fluid you had used it so much. You flicked it on, watching the small flame spark and sway, before blowing it out with a quick burst of breath. You smiled a twisted grin, knowing about what you were gonna do.

Causing yourself harm had always been a favorite pastime. You would purposely be reckless. Run too fast to make yourself trip. Deny yourself sleep untill you passed out. But it was 3 years ago that you first used the lighter. It hurt so much the first time, you could barley make a mark, but overtime you got used to it.

2 years ago you meet namjoon at a convince store in incheon, and half a year after that he asked you to be his girlfriend. Now you live together, but his work as an idol means you never got to see him much. You were home alone most of the time. Well, not exactly. You had your lighter.

You caressed your thigh, finding a clear spot, then flicked on the lighter once again. You slowly brought it closer to your leg, then the flame finally touched.

"Y/n!!" namjoon yelled. You jumped up, and dropped the lighter at the sudden voice. Then you realised it. You had been caught.

"Namjoon! What are you doing home so early.. Haha" you said nervously, but you knew it was too late.

" y/n..." he started, but you interrupted.

" i have to use the bathroom" you said. You snatched your lighter from off the ground than ran to the restroom.

You sat on the floor and covered your head. So many things raced through your mind. You were so nervous, then there was banging on the door.

"Y/n what are you doing?" namjoon said worriedly. You heard him shake the doorknob, but it was locked. " i saw you, please just open the door. We can talk". His voice was desperate, but your anxiety gripped you, and you couldn't get up to open the door, all you could do was scramble to get the lighter again. " y/n please don't do anything stupid"

I guess he heard you flick on the lighter again, it took a few tries because of the small amount of fluid left, which made it louder.

" im breaking the door down" he said. You heard 3 large bangs on the door before it crashed open. Namjoon face went from one of fear to sadness.

You dropped the lighter, and watched the flame go out. You covered your head once again, this time to hide your tears.

"Y/n..." he said quietly. He sat down next to you. He pulled your elbows off your knees, and helped you lay your legs down straight so he could look at them. You vigorously wiped at your tears, but they wouldn't stop flowing.

He dragged his hand down your thigh, careful not to touch anything that looked to recent on fear of hurting you.

He grabbed your wrists and pulled down your sleeves. A sigh of relief slipped from him when he saw there were no scars there. He turned your body to face him, then he leaned over and limply wrapped his harms around your waist. He rested his head in your shoulder, and whispered into your ear.

" why do you hurt yourself like this?" he said quietly. You whispered back to him.

" i.. Don't know. I just.. I hate everything about myself. Im addicted to self destruction" you confessed. Just saying those words was so hard for you, especially when you looked so pathetic.

" how long have you been doing that?" he asked.

" i started to uh... Self harm maybe 4 years ago, but i started to burn myself 3 yeats ago" you got quieter the longer you talked, but namjoon made you feel comfortable.

" do you know how much i love you?" he asked. You nodded. " good. Because i love you so much. I don't want you to hurt yourself anymore"

" but i cant stop" you said quietly. Namjoon released you from the hug and held your hands in his.

"Do you want to see a professional?" he asked.

" i..." you started. You never really thought about getting professional help. " i dont know"

" think about it. For me. If you decide you want to, i'll find somewhere. If you think you would be better without it i wont force you to go" his voice was sweet and caring. You nodded. Then he gave you a soft peck on the lips. " lets get some rest, ok?"

"Namjoon" you said quietly. You both stood up.

" hm?"

" i love you" you said, you blushed.

" i love you to". He wrapped his arm around you then carried you to bed. You cuddled untill you both fell asleep in each other's. Arms.