bts angst imagines/scenarios (CLOSED)

yoongi x reader: self harm

request by @Taehyungismyshiteu

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(Your pov)

I scrambled through my closet trying to find an outfit to wear for my date with yoongi today. I settled on something plain, with long sleeves and pants. It was 90 degrees outside, so I can only hope I won't be dying in these clothes. it's not like I have a choice though, I have to wear long sleeves.

I looked at the time. I still had an hour. I brushed out my hair and styled it the way I always did. as I sat  my brush down, I looked over to the small jewelry box on my vanity. i checked the clock again. I still have time....

I opend the box, the inside was lined with velvet. hidden in all the jewelry, was a smaller box. I picked up the little box, and opend it. It was filled with razors. all different kinds. after doing this for over 3 years, I have grown quite the collection.

I pulled out one of the blades, and went to the bathroom. It was a small, single sided razor blade made from stainless steel. I sat down on the toilet and pulled up my sleeve.

My arm was already covers in cuts. some were scars, some were scabs, and some were still fresh. there was only a bit of space left for me to add more,  but I could take whatever i could get. It was a small patch closer to my wrist.

I gently placed the sharp edge of the blade onto my arm, and pressed down. I swiped the edge across my arm, and immediately made another cut. I didn't bother to wait to see the blood, I liked the pain more than the clean up anyways. I made more and more cuts untill my whole arm was coverd.

It bled a bit more than i thought it would, so I put my arm under the sink and washed it off. I put a tissue on my arm, and held it untill it stopped bleeding. I threw the tissue In the toilet, and flushed it down.

by the time I was done, it was time to leave. me and yoongi were meeting at a shopping center, which was a really popular place for couples. there were lots of clothing stores, cafes, resterraunts. pretty much everything. I grabbed my bag, and headed out to the bus stop to get on the next bus the the shopping center.

Once I was there, I saw yoongi waiting for me at a lightpost, I ran up to him, and he smiled when he saw me.

"hi yoongi!" I greeted hapily. It was nice to see him, despite the fact that I was dying in the heat. normally, yoongi wasn't into doing romantic stuff, but he agreed to hang out with me today.

"hi, y/n" he said. he pretend not to care, and looked away to the shops. "so, where do you wanna go first?" He asked. I laughed, and smilled. I picked out a building that looked nice, and pointed to it.

"Lets try.... there!!" I said excitedly. we walked into the stpre, and looked around for a while, then left. we went to a few more stored, and got a few things, then got some lunch at a cafe. nect, we decided to but some new clothes.

we went to a fashion store for girls nd boys. It was a little bit more expensive, but everything was super high qualtiy, and super cute.

"ok, let's try these things on" yoongi said, after we picked out a few things of clothes. I went into a changing room, and came out with my first outfit on.

(yoongis pov)

y/n walked out of the changing room wearing... another long sleeves shirt. It was super hot outside, I didn't know how she could wear those kinds of clothes and not burn to death. I wanted to say something, but it's probably nothing. she's always been like that, it's her style.

I had to admit, the outfit did look really good on her. she did a few poses, acting like a model. I giggled. she was so cute. then, I got an idea.

"You know, I think it'd probably look cuter with the sleeves rolled up" I said. I thought what I said was totally normal, but I could tell y/n looked a bit... scared from it? It seemed like she tried to cover it up, so I don't know if I want to ask why. she is kind of starting to worry me now...

" no... i..." she stammered. " I think it looked good like this" she said. she was acting... weird. long sleeves in 90 degree weather... acting weird when someone wants you to push them up... no, y/n wouldn't do that....

"Come on, just try it and see if it looks good" I said. I tried to gauge her reaction. she... gulped...

"no, really I'm fine. let me go change into the next one now" she said, but my thoughts got the best of me. I grabbed her arm, and heard her wince a bit. I pulled her close to me, to make sure no one would see, and I lifted her sleeve....

cuts... lots of them... they were... all over...

I bit my lip. I had hoped I was just overthinking. that my imagination and anxiety were getting the better of me. but, it was true...

How long had this been going on? Why didn't she tell me? does y/n not trust me? so many questions ran through my mind...

y/n pulled her arm away, and covers it back up with her sleeve. she looked away from me, I could tell she was about to cry.

I wanted to say something, anything. anything at all to make her feel better.... but my mind just... stopped. It was blank. all I could think about was how I hadn't been there to help her while she was suffering so much...

I managed to stammer out a few words. " How long...." I said. she looked down.

" 3 years...." she said quietly. my eyes widend. 3 whole years? how... how did I never notice this... how could I have been so clueless?

"is... um..." I stammered, trying to find the right words to say. I've never been good in these kinds of situations, but I felt so bad. I just wanted to gelp, but I didn't know how. since i couldn't find what to say, I just pulled y/n into a hug. we stayed there for a long time. I had so many questions, so many things I wanted to say... but I couldnt. every time i opend my mouth, nothing comforting or useful would come out. then,I said the only thi 8ng I could think of. "do you wanna go back home?" I asked.

I pulled away from the hug to see her answer. hesitatingly, she nodded her head. I wanted to tell her one more thing before we left though...

(Your pov)

I looked down, and nodded. I didn't want to be out on public right now. after what just happend... I felt so, vumerable... I just wanted to go home. yoongi sighed, and opend his mouth ready to say something.

"I'm sorry... I couldn't help you for so long...." he said. he looked down for a moment. " When we get to your house, I want to talk about why your doing this... so I can help you..."

I blushed slightly. I didn't think he would care... I could tell he really felt bad... my heart pounded.

"It's ok yoongi" I said. he looked back up at me, and sighed again.

" ok... let's get to my car" he said. I nodded. he gripped my hanf, and rubbed it with his thumb a few times before walking out of the store close to me. I was so happy to have him supporting me... even if I was scared that someone found out, I'm glad it was him...