bts angst imagines/scenarios (CLOSED)

hoseok x suicidal reader

Request by claireisabiscuit

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I sat on the bed, holding the 8 foot rope. I watched a tutorial online of how to do this. I wrapped the rope around into and adjustable noose.

I've been suicidal for a long time. I never really felt like i had a place in this world. I felt like people would be better off without a fake person like me. I thought hanging myself would be easiest. All I have to do is let the rope close my eyes, and snap my neck as i kick away the stool. Then i don't have to pretend anymore.

I hid the noose under my bed. I couldn't do it today, hoseok was coming over. It would break his heart If he found me. Plus, I wanted to have at least one last day with him. I really loved hoseok. He was the only person who made me feel like I belonged here. He was the only person who cared.

He would be coming here soon, so I decided I'd write my suicide note to him. I was planning on killing myself either tonight, or tomorrow morning. I wanted to have everything ready.

Once I finished with that, I hid the note under my bed along with the rope. The note wasn't anything to special. I just thanked hoseok, and explained why I had to do this.

Soon, there was a knocking on the door. I didn't have anytime to get rwady, so I was still wearing sweatpants and a messy bun. This was the last time I would see hoseok anyways, so it doesn't really matter how I look. Might as well be comfortable, right? I opens the door.

"Hi hoseok!" I said, smiling sadly. I tried to sound happy, but my voice was naturally a bit monotone.

"Hi y/n, I missed you!" He gave me a big hug, and a quick peck on the cheek, which made me blush. I don't really invite him over that often since I spend most of my time wallowing in self pitty. Normally he instigated our meetups, but this time, I wanted him to come over. I wanted to say one last goodbye.

"Come on in" I said. He walked in and, slouched on the couch, I giggled, and sat next to him. " so, what do you have planned for me today?" I asked. He held up a bag of groceries.

"Ever made a cake from scratch?" He asked. I shook my head, but smilled anyways. I loved cooking with hoseok, and a nice homemade cake wasn't that bad of a last meal.After making the cake, we watched videos on my laptop laying on my bed, while cuddling.

"Hey hoseok, I've gotta use the bathroom real quick, k?"

"I'll be waiting lovely"

(Hoseoks pov)

I scrolled down looking for the next video we should watch, when I noticed something poking out from under the bed. It was long and skinny, and instantly my mind went to a snake.

Shaking, I pulled up the covers, and looked under the bed, bracing myself for a snake attack, but nothing happend. Instead, it looked like there was rope under the bed. Curiously, I pulled it out to see what it was, a slip of paper with writing on it came out to.

That's when I noticed it.

(your pov)

I walked put of the bathoom, and wiped my hands on my pants. I walked over to the bed, but my smile instantly faded as I looked up.

Hoseok sat wide eyed, gripping my note as hard as possible, reading it. The noose I made sat next to him on the bed. Once he noticed I was there, he looked up in horror. I ran back to the bathroom.

I couldn't believe this. This was supposed to be my last day. It was supposed to be nice. I couldn't breath. I leaned against the door, clutching my head. I didn't want to believe this was all real. It couldn't be. Everything was going according to plan. It was perfect. Why was this happening to me. Am I not even allowed to escape this world. Am I so bad that I must be tortured here longer.

Every time hoseok knocked on the door, my body shook. I couldn't tell him anything, he would think I'm insane. He probably already does. I fell to the ground, and let arms wrap around my head. Hoseok managed to get the door open from picking the lock.

"Y/n.... why..." He cried. He squated down, and grabbed my shoulders to try and help me up, but I wouldn't let him. I didn't want him to see my pathetic face. Since I didn't get up, he let himself wrap around me. He hugged me tightly, and cried into my back. "I love you... why did you write those things... I don't want you to go.."

He sobbed into my back. I felt so bad for making him upset. I just wanted to cry and stab myself, and punch the walls. It felt so terrible.

"I don't want you to leave me y/n... please don't leave.... please..". I couldn't help but start crying. He sounded so desperate. I quickly pulled myself up, and pushed him back into a sitting position against the wall. I pushed my head into his chest, and held onto his shirt coller. He hurried his face in my hair, and wrapped his arms around my waist.

It felt like forever, but once we finished crying, I pulled away, and hugged my knees sitting next to him.

"Y/n... please dont..."

"But... I'm bad..."

"You not bad, I love you.." hoseok said. "I really love you. I don't want you to go away... please tell me you wont.."

"I..." I said. I didn't want to hurt hoseok anymore, but I didn't want to lie to him. What if I decided that I want to go through with it... It would just hurt him more if I said I wouldnt, but did anyway.

"Ok... then just... let me stay tonight.. please... I just want to make sure you don't.... do something bad..." He said.

"I... guess so.." I said. I kinda wanted him to stay. If he left, I would just be all alone again. I don't want to be alone anymore. "Are you going to break up with me?"

"No... why would i? I love you already, nothing will change that" hoseok said. He pulled me into another hug, and kissed the top of my head. "I promise, I'll never leave you. You don't have to be lonely ever again."