bts angst imagines/scenarios (CLOSED)

jungkook x self harming reader

Request by TaekookieNoona

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Jungkook has been my boyfriend for almost 4 years now, but just last weem we finally musterd up the confidence to tell the public about our relationship.

Jungkook tweeted a picture of us, and an official statement that we were together, and luckily, most of the fans took it really well. But, of course with any idol relationship, there's always hate.

Jungkook didn't know that for almost a year now, I've been cutting. I've been depressed for a long time, but last year things started getting really bad when my parents died in a car acident.

I miss them so much, and no matter how much jungkook tried to console me, I knew it was my fault. I should've stopped them... It was all my fault so I don't deserve to live.

I started having really bad suicidal thoughts, but of course I didn't tell jungkook. The only thing that could stop my pain was the blade, and how that I was getting dozens and dozens of hate mail and comments everuday, that blade became so much more apealing. And usefull.

Not to long ago I bought a 20 pack of the strongest double edge razors I could find. The cut through skin like a hot knife through butter. It was amazing.

I woke up, and checked my phone. The anti's found my Twitter and posted at least a thousand negative comments about me everyday. I tried not to let it get to me, but the sheer thought of that amount of people hating me made me crumble. It wasn't their words, it was the emotion behind them. Pure disgust. I was despised by so many people. I knew I deserved it, but it still hurt.

Today, once again, I woke up to a wall of notifications from the hundreds of people who hated me.

I smiled, and started reading the comments. Opened my side tables drawere, and pulled out a shinny, thin, metal blade, and a box of tissues. Nothing like some good morning punishment.

I placed the blade on my arm, but the sudden sound of something dropping made me accidentally cut deeper than I expected, then I heard his muffled voice.

"Y/n!" Jungkook said. I could hear his foot steps as he got close to the door, I scrambled to clean myself up, quickly putting away the blade, and  wrapping my wrist in tissues, I tried to hide my hand under the cover, and I did it just as the door opend.

"Morning babyyy" jungkook cooed.

"Why are you up so early?" I asked. "Normally you sleep in super late?"

"I fell asleep on the couch again, and falling off made me wake up... hehe" he said. So that's what that sound was...

"Well I just woke up too, so go somewhere else before I get up!" I said, I needed him to leave so he didn't see my arm. I couldn't let him find out now, I've been hiding it for so well...

"Come on been let's cuddle!" Jungkook said, before I knew it he walked over, and lifted the covers to get under, but his eyes widens at the sight of my bloody wrist. Suronded by blood soaked tissues.

"Jungkook I told you to go!!" I yelled, I pulled the cover back down in an instant, and looked away, but i5 was too late... He already saw...

"Y/n..." He grabbed my arm, making me wimper in pain, and he held it up to look at my bleeding wrist. " Oh my god... I have to bandage it now! It's so deep..." jungkook said.

"Jungkook wait!" I yelled, but he already dashed to the bathroom. He came back with armfulls of medical supplies. He sat them on the b3d then looked back up at me.

"Ok, let me see it so I can help ypu" he said gently.

"No" I said, i looked away, holding a tissue onto my wrist under the covers.

"Y/n.. you need a bandage or it will get infected!! Please, I know it might be hard but I have to do this..."

"Why!" I yelled. " it's not even that bad" jungkook looked down. I was surprised when I saw tear drip from his face to the bed.

"Please y/n... This is the only way I know how to help you right now... please...." My expression softend. I instantly regretted yelling at him...

He looked so sad..  like a lost puppy. I felt so bad that I made him feel this way... My heart hurt so much, but I guess all I could do was let him bandage me.

I was really scared though... I was scared he would hate me because I was crazy, or a freak, but I managed to gather my courage, and slowly and shakily, lifted my arm from under the covers, and looked down as I let jungkook see my bleeding wrist.

He looked up at it, his face full of sadness. He gently placed his hand above the other cuts on my arm, and gently dabbed a wet towel on my wrist. Once the blood was gone, he carefully put on a disenfectant, carefull not to hurt me, then wrapped up my whole arm with bandages, making sure to wrap my wrist really good. Then he wrapped up my other arm.

Once he was done, he gently pulled my sleeves back down over the bandages, and wiped off his tears. He got into the bed and laid next to me, holding me in a nice warm hug.

"How long had this been happening y/n..." He asked.

"Almost a year..." I said.

"Are you... do you want to... uh... kill yourself?" He asked quietly.

"Yes..."

"Have you um... oh god... uh..  ever t... tried?"

"Not yet..."

"Please... dont..."jungkook said. I didn't respond. "Y/n.. I really love you, so please don't leave me ok?"

"But why.. all the fans seem to hate me..."

"There just jelouse of you... please just try to talk to me before you do that next time..."

"Jungkook..."

"Please?"

"Ok"