A Poet's Tragic Love

CHAPTER 9

One rainy evening I got a call from Cindy's mom.

"Hi Mom" I answered

I felt that something was wrong because I could hear the sobs of the mother of Cindy.

"What's wrong mom?" I asked.

"Cindy met an accident, and she's here at St. Roque Hospital." She replied

I ended the call right away and got in to my car and flew away for the hospital. I did not mind even if the road was slippery due to that evening rain. I didn't care whether I could hit something with my speed of 120kph; all I could think was about my beloved and future wife Cindy. When I arrived at the hospital, the parents of Cindy hugged me as they told me that Cindy's gone. I could not believe their words so I entered the room where a body covered with white cloth laid. I unsheathed the body and saw the face of Cindy. My legs had gone weak and before I knew it, I was kneeling already and sobbing to death. It was like my world has shattered, it was more damaging than a calamity. I didn't know if I like to live anymore or wanted to follow her in deathbed. I learned that a taxi cab hit her accidentally on her way going home. The taxi driver was at the prison but we intended to let him be free because it was just an accident, nobody wanted that accident, so long as he would help us in the bills of the hospital up to burial.

I arrived home to rest at Cindy's parents' advice. My parents approached me wondering what had happened because I looked horrible. I told them what happened to Cindy and my mom started to cry while my dad was comforting her. After we talked about what had happened, I led myself into my room; I lay down in my bed, just staring blankly at the ceiling floor. I didn't know what to do anymore that Cindy was gone in my life. I didn't want to get up anymore, if only I could stay lying down in my bed forever, I would do it. If only I could sleep forever and be able to dream Cindy, I would do it. If only I wake up after a night's sleep and it could bring back Cindy to life, I would do it immediately. Unfortunately, I'm more of a rational man that does not believe in fairy tales so I set aside all those incredulous ideas. I noticed my engagement ring in my ring finger and because of my loneliness; I removed it from my finger and threw it away outside our window.

At the funeral, all our friends, schoolmates, and teachers delivered their condolences to me and to Cindy's parents. Everyone tried to talk to me and comfort me but I would not pay attention to them instead I was just staring blankly at Cindy's coffin. They let me be alone after sometime thinking that it was very traumatizing for me.

Many days had passed since Cindy's interment. I was just locking myself in my room. My parents tried to call me several times just to make me go out of my room but I did not budge. I was just inside my room all day and all night so my mom had to get inside the room to just deliver my food. I lost appetite, sometimes I ate less; sometimes I ate nothing at all and give the food to troy. I also wasn't able to get to work so I was bombarded by Olivia's messages trying to know whether I was okay and when I would be coming back. I lost all my motivation in life as if I didn't want to live anymore. I also deleted all the poems that I wrote for Cindy. People are different in many ways on how they are affected by a sudden loss of an important one. Some people treasured all the memories that they can still preserve just to have a memoire of their loved one. Other people like me wanted to erase all the memories that attached the both of us to each other because I got a heart attack whenever I was able to picture the memories that we both shared. I wanted to forget, if I could just suffer amnesia by then, I was willingly to make myself suffer.

One day I went to my workplaceto file a resignation form; my reason was just that I could not write anythingand had no reason to work anymore. I lost all of my motivation and was sodevastated. Olivia was reluctant at first, not agreeing to let go of me butafter she saw the sadness in my eyes, she let go already of me and bid me goodbye. She even said to take care of myself and find myself again. I went homeafter that and locked myself into my room again.