DOUBLE DEUCES (Part 4)

The Healing Process

Jax had to pull the night shift so I headed to bed early. Around two in the morning I was suddenly shaken awake. Opening up my eye's in confusion I saw Cole standing above me. Smiling I sat up. "What are you doing out so late? Isn't your wife worried?" I teased.

Instantly I could tell something was wrong. Cole was pacing around and dark circles clung to his eye's. "What's wrong Cole?" I asked a bit nervous.

Running his hand through his wild hair he sputtered. "She knows Erica. They all know by now".

"What do you mean they know?" I questioned even though I knew what he was referring to.

"Miri caught on to me and she knows about us, well not you yet, but she knows I've been cheating." I could feel the blood drain from my face. I knew this would happen eventually but to actually be facing it was scary as hell. "What did you tell her?"

"I told her the truth Erica. I told her I didn't love her anymore, that she doesn't meet my needs basically. Fuck I don't recall our conversation. I just know that we have got to go as soon as possible. Pack you a few thing's and let's get moving".

Standing up alarmed I said frantically. "I can't leave Cole. I just got united with my brother. I can't leave him again".

Cole gave me a dumb look. "Erica, what part of they will fucking kill us don't you understand? Get your shit together and let's get a move on".

I gave a nervous laugh. "Please, Miri isn't the killing type, she's too sweet. Besides you said yourself that they have no clue that it was me".

Gripping my arm's, Cole shook me until my teeth rattled. "Yes Erica, Miri does kill. She's just laid dormat since the baby, trying to be normal. She's one of the best trained females we have. She will come in time and she won't be alone. They'll all come. I can't take them all on, I'd be committing suicide if I even tried. I'm considered a runner now. I left the mafia so they will hunt me. It's not just about our affair now".

Releasing me I shook my head. "I won't run off with you Cole. The truth is I thought I loved you but I don't. You just made me see my worth again, made me feel wanted and loved. I've been abused for so long I didn't know what a decent man was. I was never in love with you, just the feelings you gave me. You made me complete, you was my medicine, you healed me. What we had wasn't real and in time you will see that. I was imprisoned for so long, I don't want to be tied down. I want to live my life, learn who I am and what I want. I want my freedom".

Cole stood there as if I had hit him. Yes I felt bad but it was the truth. "You tell me now that none of it was real. That you don't want me."

He gave a crazy laugh and walked in circles while smacking his forehead. "Bitch, you cost me my wife, my kid and probably my life".

"No Cole, you lost that on your own. You came to me. You kept this going. You was a married man yet betrayed your vows. Yes, I was in on it but I didn't force you to do any of it. You kissed me first, all of it was your moves".

"Unfuckingbelieveable Erica. Regardless who's at fault they will discover it is you and come for you. There's nothing Jax or anyone can do to save you. You need to leave".

"I'll take my chances. I'm done with running and living in fear. I refuse to allow the Harper's to scare me off".

"Your so fucking stupid. I regret ever talking to you, ever feeling sympathy for you."

He paused and sat down on my bed as if he was in a daze. "I made a bad mistake. Miri was so good to me. Miri ran off with me in my darkest time. Miri loved me and I crushed her heart again".

He stood up. "Last chance?" He asked.

I shook my head no.

Giving a snort, he snarled. "Your no better than me. To hell with all that healing, been abused shit. You knew what we was doing was wrong but you did it anyway. Your just as guilty. I would kill you myself but I think I'll  leave you up to the Harper's.  I hope it's my wife that slits your throat".

Cole stormed out and I stared into the silence. What he said was true. I knew better, there's no excuses. I'm just as to blame as him. My only hope is the Harper's can forgive me and spare my life. I wasn't to worried about Miri either. Yea, Cole made her seem like a monster but I honestly don't think she has it in her. She's too prissy and helpless. No, Miri is no concern of mine, however her Pape makes me shudder. I guess all there is to do is sit back and wait and explain my case.