DOUBLE DEUCES (Part 4)

Hiding My Crazy

When I entered the apartment all eye's was on me as if they expected me to flip out at any moment. My parent's came up to me in greeting. As I hugged my mom I saw London standing back in the shadows. His stance was clearly threatening but I was assured no harm would come to me. I was here for Dem, nothing else.

All this chaos with Miri could be placed on the back burner until this travesty passes. Everyone's face wore the anguish we was all feeling due to the loss of Sam. She was great for Demarco and I feared he'd never overcome this. All we could do now is be there for him as a family and put our issues aside.

Then Miri entered the room and my breath caught in my chest. She never failed to take my breath away. We stood still just staring each other down, as if we were trying to read the other's thoughts. Finally Miri nodded her head in greeting and turned away.  I never knew how much I missed her until seeing her now. My first instinct was to go and pull her into my arm's but I knew that would be inappropriate.

The weight of my mistake came crushing down on me like a building. How could I have been so stupid? And for what? A few nights of pleasure with a woman that didn't care about me. Which reminded me I have a few scores to settle while I'm here. Erica destroyed my life. True I had a hand in it but I plan on ending her before Miri gets the chance. I also haven't forgot about Miri either. Sure, I did it but knowing she slept with someone else angered me like nothing ever has and I wanted nothing more than to make her as well as Jax pay for it.

After awhile I saw Miri slip off to the kitchen and I took this chance to have a word with her. No, I wasn't going to bring up our problems, now wasn't the time. Besides everyone's emotions are high and a argument could quickly escalate to blood shed. No, I just wanted to hear what all has been going on since I ran off. I had to know why Laney looked like she stepped in a ring with a boxer. When Miri explained about Laney's involvement with Luca there was no doubt in my mind he was our prime suspect for this attack. God help whomever pulled the trigger on Sam. Demarco was sure to skin them alive.

The conversation between Miri and I was strained and it was obvious we was forcing ourselves to be polite due to the circumstances. I was on the verge of broaching my behavior concerning Erica when Jax waltzed in. Approaching Miri, he threw his arm around her claiming his property and placed a delicate kiss upon her cheek. All the while he acted as if I wasn't in the room, the little sniveling bastard.

That's fine and dandy though I thought as I laughed to myself. I could kill this fucker in two seconds flat without even drawing my gun. And those lips that touched my baby girl, I'll slice those fuckers right off his face. As I stared at him from across the room a uneasy feeling came over me. Something just wasn't right with him. I'm not just saying this because he's with Miri or a cop, no there was something definitely off about him and I was going to find out while I was here.

Before I could put much more thought into it a anguished cry wafted into the room followed by a crashing sound. That would be Dem waking up coming to terms with his harsh reality. Everyone rushed to him. Laney was the first to reach him and cradle him in her arm's followed by London and Miri. I stood back waiting for them to console him but I believe that was an impossible task.

Demarco used his arm's trying to push everyone away, not wanting to comforted. He yelled out for them to get away, leave him be. Then he broke again and fell to his knees. Never have I   seen this massive man so weak and vulnerable. Demarco wept in his hands and yelled out "why? Why did it have to be her. Why not me?"

Laney knelt down and rubbed his back as she wept for him and Sam. "She was too good for this life mommy. I should've never dated her, never brought her into this and she'd still be here. It's my fault, all my fault".

Laney continued rubbing his back letting him get it all out. "What am I suppose to do now? I can't go on without her, I don't even won't too".

I knew it was time for me to step in before he tried something foolish. Walking over, I stood in front of him and bent down. He looked up and saw me. At first confusion crossed his face as to why I was here but vanished as he gripped me in a hug. "She's gone Cole, they killed her".

"I know man and I swear to you I'm not going anywhere until we have the fuckers responsible for this. I got you man".

Several moment's later Demarco calmed down somewhat and I followed him to the underground facility he had built on his own. One thing is for certain, while I was gone this family had fell apart. There's a lot of healing to be done, forgiveness given, and apologies to be said on all our parts.