Poker Face

Back To December

Jess sat at the table of the coffee shop she had told Jon meet her at. She knew she broke his heart. But he was still her brother and goddamn, she missed him

She sighed and looked around, finally deciding he wasn't coming and she put her head down with a deep sigh of sadness

"You okay there shortie?" She heard an amused voice asked and god, how she had longed to hear that voice

"Jon." She said, smiling up at him

"Hi Jess," he said, taking a seat across from her

Jessica couldn't believe her eyes. He came.

"How've you been?" She asked, taking in his features as he drank from the extra black coffee the waitress had just sat down

"Been good, busy...you?" He asked, squinting

"I missed you." Jess said and sighed when he sadly looked down

"How's work and life?" She asked

"Life's treating me well. Work too. Big matches lately." Jon replied

Jess wanted to cry. Jon was being so short with her. His guard was up and she knew why

"How's your family?" She asked, referring to his baby sister

"Delilah's good, Dirk proposed to her the other day." He said with a brief smile

"I need to go, I have a practice match with Finn in 20 minutes." Jon said, getting up

"Wait Dean, I'm sorry I never meant to break your heart." Jess tried but Jon just smiled and walked over to her side, giving her a tight hug and a forehead kiss

"Don't worry about it beautiful, you didn't break my heart. Truth is, I broke my own heart." Jon said, giving Jess a sad smile

"I'll see you later J," Jon said waving to her as he left

She sighed and got up, leaving the cafe and going back to her music room at home. Colby was sitting in ths sun outside and he didn't have his crutches so he'd be outside for a while

She sat at her piano and began her genius

"I'm so glad you made time to see me.
How's life? Tell me how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while.
You've been good, busier than ever,
We small talk, work and the weather,
Your guard is up and I know why.
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind.
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night,"
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I go back to December all the time.

These days I haven't been sleeping,
Staying up, playing back myself leavin'.
When your birthday passed and I didn't call.
And I think about winter, all the beautiful times,
I watched you laughing from the passenger side.
Realized I loved you I would fall.

And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye".

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time.

I miss your pale skin, your sweet smile,
So good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that December night
The first time you ever saw me cry.

Maybe this is wishful thinking,
Probably mindless dreaming,
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right.

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't.
So if the chain is on your door I understand.

But this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December...
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

I go back to December all the time.
All the time."

"Jess?" She heard from downstairs

"Yeah?" She asked, stapling her lyrics and song notes together

"I love you!" He called upstairs

Jess looked at the closed door and sighed, she smiled

"I love you too," she called back and smiled, looking at the picture on her desk which was of her and Jon and Colby in a group hug and she sighed