Lost Cause

Downhill from here bitch

"NO MEGAN YOU WILL COME HOME AND HAVE THIS MEAL WITH THE BOYS US AND YOUR BROTHERS END OF STORY!" my mum (Eleanor Calder) screamed at down the phone

"WHY DO I HAVE TO COME TO SOME SHITTY MEAL, JUST EAT WITH JAKE AND LLOYD YOU DON'T REALLY WANT ME THERE" screaming matches on the phone happened alot between me an mum now a days

"Look please all i'm asking is that you show up, Niall, Harry, Liam and Zayn are bring their kids, JUST GET HOME NOW THEY WILL BE HERE SOON!" ergh

"FUCKS SAKE MUM" I hung the phone up quickly and put my fag out.

Maddie my best friend spoke before I had the chance to "Your mum then I take it"

"Yeah they are holding some fucking stupid meal at ours so I gotta go apparently, I don't see why it's not like her and dad are proud of me they care to much about their perfect sons Jake and Lloyd and not their screwed up smoker daughter Megan"

"You'll be fine all right just get this meal over with and meet me tomorrow yeah"

"Okay, see you Mads" I walked the long way home just to annoy my mum by being late and to make sure the smell of fag smoke wasn't as strong on my clothes

I arrived home to see 4 parked cars outside my drive, oh what fun they are here at least it stopped mum screaming at me again

As I walked through the door I was greated by a massive group hug from my dads band memebers, Harry Styles Liam Payne Zayan Malik and Niall Horan, yeah you guessed it my dad is Louis Tomlinson and my Mum is Elenor Calder

Liam whispered something in my ear "Megan you smell of cigarettes" I pulled out the hug quickly so none of the others would smell it

They had all brought their kids and wives with them; Harry and Sophie with their 6 year old daughter Holly,Niall and Amy with their 6 month old son Callum and 14 year old daughter Paige, Zayan and Perrie with their 10 year old daughter Evie and 12 year old son Sam then finally Liam and Caitlin with their 16 and 8 year old daughters Rose and Melody, Rose was my age and in my form group at school, she was really nice more like family than friends

"Mum i'll been down later I need to shower get changed" I tried to sound sweet but they boys must have picked up on the bitterness in voice because I saw them all shoot each other the 'there has been a fall out' look

"Okay don't take to long" she wouldn't even look at me as she spoke

I went upstairs and could here everyone laughing and joking with each other, I walked down the hall to my room and slammed the door I opened my window and sat on the window sill fag in hand, yes smoking was my stress release along with cutting every day and sometimes drinking but only when things got really bad

As I watched the smoke float away in the air suddenly my door opened, Jake my older brother great

"What do you want dick face" I spat at him in between puffs, he was the only one in my family who knew I smoked, well mum and dad found out ages ago so i stopped for awhile until they forgot and started again about 7 months ago

"Just to see if you are okay I heard mum on the phone to you earlier, I figured you would proberly be smoking or something" how he tolerated me I do not know

"You know me to well Jakey boy" I threw my fag butt onto the gravel below and hopped of the window sill and walked over to face Jake

"God no offence Megan but you stink of it"

"Well duh that is why i'm going for a shower so bye bye now" I turned around and shuffled him back towards the door, just as I was about to close it he said something that shocked me

"Whats happened to you Megan, you were such a good girl once but now you smoke skip school and there is something else something your hiding, I miss you Megan Tomlinson the old you"

I was seething how dare he "I FUCKING GREW UP JAKE THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED" I really shouldn't have shouted but I was so angry with him thats when Dad shouted up the stairs

"Everything okay Jake? And Megan what have I told you about swearing?"

"Eveythings fine Dad" Jake shouted as he walked back down the stairs, I shut my door and ran into my un-suite. I searched around the shelves for my box of blades when I found it I opened it and grabbed the first blade my fingers touched.

*******20 minutes later*********

I threw on some black leggings and oversized hoodie to cover my cut up arms and thighs, grabbed my phone lighter and a couple of fags put some TOMS on and headed to the dining room

By the time I got to the table everyone was already sat down chatting away

"So Megan hows school been?" Harry asked me through a mouthfull of salad

"Okay, it's still there unfortantly but not long left till I can leave"

"No we agreed Megan you were staying on to 6 form" mum was really pushing her luck now

"No you and dad did but I didn't" I dropped my fork on my plate and ran my hands through my hair, I really need a smoke

"You see all we do I try to help but no you throw your education away!"

"No i'm sick of doing what you want me to do, I don't want to do 6 form I want to go straight to performing arts college" everyone was now staring at me and mum

"I don't think so" she stood up and looked down at me across the table, I stood up and stared her straight in the eyes

"STOP FUCKING CONROLLING EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE MUM" I looked down as my lighter clattered against the floor, shit, I tried to pick it up before anyone saw but it was to late

"Megan you had said you had stopped!" the anger in my mums voice was now tainted with sadness

"Give me the lighter Megan" my dad spoke up as he came round the table to try and get it from me

"Get the hell away from me!" I turned and ran out the door, I knew where I was going, there was a little river about 15 minutes away, I ran for about 5 minutes so I was out of sight of the house before I lit up a fag and slowed down to a walk

I got to the river and sat down, it had gotten dark I only had the light on my phone to guide me, I unlocked it and looked 6 missed calls from dad, 2 from mum, 5 new messages from Jake, 2 missed calls and a voicemail from Lloyd and 1 text from Rose all it said was 'River?' I replied with a simple yes

It was about 10 minutes after I sent the text to Rose when a car arrived I was expecting it to be Dad or Lloyd but it wasn't it was.... Liam