Stuck between right and wrong

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So I'm finally being let back to the normal ward today and Mum and Dad are coming for visiting and I have decided to bite the bullet and just ask Dad what is going on. Okay so yeah maybe they haven't told me already because they don't want me to know but if my Dad or Liam has been in this place before and now I am I think I deserve to know, like I have said I am sick of people keeping things from me that I should know.

I don't know why Mike felt the need to walk me back to my room what did he think I was going to do, have another punch up with a wall? (Okay yeah I do want to but hey give me some credit for kinda conroling it this time). I noticed Aria stood in my room with something held behind her back

"Aria what are you doing?" about a million things were swarming in my mind about this but I couldn't think straight

"Stopping you from destorying yourself Megan" she pulled her hand from her behind her back with my blade in her hand

"Aria give me it please" God what have I become begging for it back when it's what has brought me hear

"No Megan, I'm doing this for you"

"If you were doing this for me you would give me it"

"I am going to get rid of it"

"No Aria please, you cannot expect me to get clean that quickly"

"Hey I'm not I know how hard it is, I'm not saying that you're not going to slip up and relpase but we are aloud to make mistakes, but if you don't have your blade then the temptation won't be there to cut"

"I can't cope Aria without it, please just let me have it" the tears were brimming in my eyes

"You can Megan and do you know why you can"

"Why?" she came over and wrapped her arms around me, I rested my head on her shoulder

"Because you have me, and believe it or not Megs this place helps alot it's like one great big family were we are all fucked up and the nurses and trick cyclists may seem bad but, if you tell them that you have the urge to cut, they won't shove you in acute or scream at you, they will help you and stay with you till you feel better, weather it be 3 in the morning or 4 in the afternoon" trick cyclist has to be the best word for psychartrist

"Big speech over?" I said mumbling through her shirt

"Yeah now come on we'll go flush it okay"

"Can you not just do it"

"No this is something you have to do" she dragged me to the bathroom and into the cubibal

"Oh Aria entering into a toliet with me and locking the door, tounges will wag"

"Shut-up idiot, here" She handed me the blade, I turned it through my fingers

" Aria, just one please"

"NO, Megan flush it here" she held my hand in hers... NOT in THAT way you little dirty minded people

"On three okay"

"No fuck it" I let go of the blade and a chinked a little as it scraped the porcalin of the toilet, and flushed it. I have either made the best chocie of my life or the worst, I spend all my life stuck between right and wrong

"You see you can cope without it, I'm proud of you Megan" Ew no okay sentimental moment nope Megan Tomlinson does NOT and I repeat does NOT do sentiment

"Well we will wait and see won't we" I dashed out of the toliet and left Aria ponder that for a little while, another great word ponder I'm flowing with them.

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