new roommate-phan texting au DISCONTINUED

89

still dans pov

all i can do is stare, watching as phil turns white as a ghost, his eyes clouded over in a dark blanket of tears. there are so many words being spoken between us with just our faces. i can feel my chest tightening, my body itching to run to phil and hold onto him forever. i see pj behind him, the saddest look in his eyes, something that just screamed disappointment.

then, phil's lip is practically trembling and he looks down at his feet, shaking his head slowly in what looks like disbelief. he takes one foot back a step as if he's ready to leave and that's when i snap back into reality, pushing james out of the way and moving towards the stairs.

"phil i-"

"shut up," he cuts me off quickly, wiping his hands over his face and keeping them there.

"but phil-"

"no,"

"can you please just let me talk, i-"

"i said shut up!"

i jump slightly at his raised voice, feeling my chest moving rapidly and my heart almost skipping a beat. i dare myself to say another word, my tongue telling me to shut up, to listen to him, to not make anything worse.

i open my mouth slightly to start but see pj, motioning for me not to. i sigh, frowning at the way phil is staring so intensely at the ground. i feel all the guilt from before coming back up, my stomach in knots and making me feel as though i need to puke.

we all stand in silence for a few minutes, until surprisingly phil speaks up. "are you coming with us, dan? or do you want to stay here since you obviously like it?" he says angrily and finally he's looking at me, his eyes burning into mine.

"you can't just-" james starts but is automatically cut off by phil.

"shut the fuck up,"

i look at the way they glare at each other, eyes yelling with such annoyance for the other person until phil looks at me with the same expression. "so? what do you want to do,"

i'm almost too in shock to say anything, given the fact that he even wants to be near me at this point. i manage to slip out a word, one that makes phil smile wide and james scoff, his eyes rolling angrily.

"you,"

i realize phil isn't smiling because i'm gonna be with him, but more over how i didn't decide to stay with james. my heart was pounding as i walked over and stood a few feet away from phil, being sure not to make any eye contact.

"dan, what about-"

"cut the shit, james," phil starts, over exaggerating his eyes rolling. "he doesn't like you, he was just being kind, right dan?" everyone was looking at me now and all i could bring myself to do was nod. i didn't like james, not at all. i liked phil. i like phil.

and then i'm being dragged back down the stairs by phil, my eyes focused on his hand holding mine. they were cold and clammy but somehow made me feel warm all over. i could almost feel him shaking, yet i ignored it, knowing he'd be mad if i mentioned it.

we made it to the car and phil gently nudged me into the backseat, pj in the front while phil got into the drivers seat. i put my hands in my lap awkwardly, seeing phil's eyes in the review mirror looking at me. he had no real expression on his face, but something told me he was mad.

we started to drive and i sighed in relief, leaning my head against the window. there was so much tension in the car and i could tell how uncomfortable everyone was.

thankfully pj broke the silence, probably in hopes of getting a smile out of someone.

"so... who's up for milkshakes?"

hey hey it's november 29 which means it's my birthday so here's an update!!!

also thank u to liv for logging in and changing all the glitches for me in this <3