Caught

Chapter Fifteen

"You can't stay in there forever!" Mom's stern voice yelled from outside. She was banging on my door hard, not leaving me alone despite my several yells in reply. It almost seemed that she never had to stop for a breath, but when she did, she attacked my thoughts.

Are you worried you hurt him? She said one time. That's alright, he was in the way, anyway.

"Julianna, maybe you should leave her alone," Dad told mom from the other side of the door. "She just needs time-"

"She's gotten all the time we can spare." Mom shot back. "That girl..."

Hearing the conversation from the other side of the door makes me wonder how their relationship lasted this long. They were arguing half the time - well, at least since I can remember, which isn't that long. Mom is clearly a psychopath and, I'd have to admit, I'm pretty sure she had feelings for Alyssa's dad. The way she looks at him and talks to him... it makes me sick. I mean, she's an evil serpent and all but that's my mother.

"She's confused." I heard dad say. "She attacked her best friend."

"That boy was no longer supposed to be part of her life." Mom was angry, but not at dad - at me, I could tell. "I was afraid something like this would happen."

"Like what?" It was Spencer who spoke.

The answer was obvious, even I knew what it was. "She's a teenage girl, her best friend just happens to be a-" She looked for the right words. "good looking teenage boy. Sooner or later, her emotions were going to play with her."

Her words rang in my head. Did I like Aidan? I mean, there was that one small kiss I gave him when we were thirteen but that's as far as romance went... I think.

I replay the memories I had with him in my mind. That first day when we met, exploring the Institute at night, escaping, and being caught.

Everything he doesn't remember anymore.

I think about everything that passed through my mind the moment I found out the Institute captured him. I remember how I held his bloody shirt close to me, hoping that he didn't actually leave me.

Did I really start falling for him by the end of it all?

No, it wasn't. I knew it. I feel for him long before that, I'm sure.

"But mom," Spencer spoke again. "She's sixteen, she isn't nearly old enough to date. Dad wouldn't let her."

"Ha ha, very funny, Spencer. And how old were you when you and Kassandra started going out?" Mom shot back, her voice bitter.

I think about the rose he left for me. I was still very much alive by the time I found it - almost three years after he gave it. Maybe it was genetically modified too.

He gave that to me so I can remember him, even if he forgets about himself.

I tried remembering what I did with that darn thing - the rose he gave me because he cared. He warned me in the note that came with it too.

Remember what I told you before, about the superpowers? It's true. And mom's taking me away.

"That's how I knew I had to leave home," I muttered. "He warned me before even Spencer did."

He cared. Did he love me?

Did he?

"Lauren!" Mom's voice yelled my name again. "Come out, I can hear you talk to yourself."

Can I bring them back? I asked myself. Aidan's memories?

I wanted him back. His warm smile, his laugh, his friendship. I couldn't care less about his stupid comments or embarrassing habits. I didn't want the Aidan who was scared of me. I wanted the Aidan I knew back.

I also wanted me back.

The version of me that would hurt one of her own friends, no matter what happened... or unless she was attacked. I wanted the version of me that didn't let her emotions overpower her. The one that wasn't so confused about them too. I wanted the version of me that was still little, the one that was still a speck in this entire process.

But if you put it that way, you're going back to me as a child. Me as nothing more than a helpless baby, barely able to hold my head up.

Or, I just wanted to be a normal girl again, one that didn't know anything about this process until the day Aidan brought it up to ten-year-old Lauren. I wanted to be the girl that went to school each day, had sleepovers each weekend, and didn't have to worry about leading a freaking army.

I didn't even know that life but I knew it would be better than this.

I lost myself. I lost control. I lost my purpose in this world. I'm just a piece in their games. Again.

I was a monster now. I hurt people. I murdered people.

I think of Aidan's blood covering the concrete, covering my hands. I think about the way I dragged his skull across the hard ground. My friends tired stopping me but I pushed them away.

I lost control and it hurt someone innocent.

I think about going to visit him earlier today. His forehead was wrapped in bandages, stitches marked his hands, arms, legs. He yelled when I entered the room. He called me a monster, a freak. It was the restrains on him that kept him from tearing me into small pieces.

I choked on the tears that came up my throat. "I want everything to be normal," I sobbed into my pillow. "I just want everything to be normal! No experiments or tests or diseases or memory swipes or, or-"

"Lauren." It was Spencer. Spencer and his calm soothing voice. "Can I come in?"

I couldn't find the energy to say it aloud so I said it with my mind. Okay.

He walked in as I wiped away the tears that streaked my face. But they just kept coming. Over and over. The tears wouldn't stop.

"There, there." Spencer sat beside me, holding me in his arms. "It's okay, Lauren. I got you. I convinced mom to leave us for a moment."

"Why does everything hurt?" I asked. "Why am I so confused about everything?"

He smiled. "It's called growing up, Lauren."

"Why doesn't he remember?" I whispered into his chest.

"He'll remember soon." Spencer assured me. "We're gonna get them back for him."

"I don't want to stay here anymore, Spencer." I sobbed. "I wanna go home."

"It's already planned, Lauren." He smoothed my hair. "Christmas Eve... this nightmare is going to end."