Caught

Chapter Twenty

Why did I kiss him?

I pulled a black sweater over my light-blue shirt. It was cold outside, with it being almost the end of December. Even in my heated bedroom, I had goosebumps.

Maybe it was because I was scared.

Was it because I was confused? I was hurt and needed comfort and he was just there?

I pulled on my combat boots. They weren't exactly winter boots but it wasn't just a light dusting of snow out there. Even now, the snow was coming down hard. Looks like kids are going to get a white Christmas tomorrow morning.

Or was it because I wanted Aidan to feel as hurt as I did?

I glance over at the advent calendar standing on my side table. All twenty-five compartments were open, the last of the chocolate in my hands. I didn't want to eat it yet, maybe it'll end up being my only Christmas present this year. Well, the first in a couple years.

He looked hurt after I did it, right? He was hurt. He felt horrible.

But he made me feel that way first.

My bag was packed from my attempt before, my clothes and essentials all squeezed nicely in it. I slung it over my shoulder, grabbing my phone from my nightstand and slipping out the door.

I looked down at the cracked screen. The thing was old, half-broken and its cover was breaking into small pieces, but I kept it anyway - it was a piece of my childhood, after all.

The screen glowed to life, a bright 11:30 PM spread across the home screen. We were supposed to be in Alyssa's room by 11:45. It was almost time.

He did what he was forced to do. Why are you so upset, Lauren?

I had a lot of confidence in this plan - partially because I was not part of the making of it. I was stupid to think I'd be able to escape alone. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He didn't want to hurt you and you know it, Lauren. So why'd you kiss Tyson?

"Shut up, thoughts," I told myself. I knew it was me thinking them, I didn't tell Spence about it. The whole thing still didn't even make sense for me, I didn't even know why it happened. It just happened.

I didn't like it.

I mean, I did, but I don't like all these afterthoughts and regrets. I couldn't get the scene out of my head. The hurt look on Aidan's face after I pulled away was etched into my mind. It was followed by him storming out of the room, Tyson following him.

Things got awkward with both boys after that.

I knew Aidan didn't mean to hurt me, he never would do that. But my brain was too messed up at the time to realize that.

But still... he should've been the one beside me after he hurt me. If he was there, I wouldn't be mad at him.

"Lauren," Someone whispered. I jumped, turning around to find Spencer behind me. He was bundled in a warm jacket and a hat. "You ready?"

I nodded. Mom and dad were not a problem to us at this moment, with them fast asleep after a filling dinner that we helped them cook. All through the afternoon, I couldn't stop looking at mom's injuries from the fire. Her burns were bad, causing her pain with each movement.

I did that to her. I let it happen.

Either way, I was ready to escape this horrid place. This place full of nightmares and crushed dreams. That will continue doing that very thing until we do something about it.