Chapter 38 : Enter, End

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I was running.

Crash! Bang! Clang! Thud! Bonk!

That was my heart, my mind, my inner conscience, my soul, my brain, my everything. . . .

WHAT WAS I SERIOUSLY THINKING?!?!

He was the only person I had ever confessed my true feelings to. He was the only person I had placed my trust in, taking it for granted that he wouldn't crumble if anything went amiss. But everything was amiss now.

The only most important person in my life was, . . . . . . he was . . . . . .

I was terrified.
This was it. The curse could never be lifted.
Why did I always keep repeating the same damn mistakes!?!
I was tearing at my hair, harshly, silently.

This was it. This was it.

Had the dolls tried to warn me? Had they?

It was all my fault. It was always my fault. It had always been so.
Fate was deceiving. Utterly misunderstood and always harsh.
So . . . I couldn't change it after all. . . .

I was running, away from Luke and Zayla.

They knew nothing of it. They didn't need to.
I hate them. I hate them both.
I do . . .

I clutched my shirt tightly. They had kept their word. They had never abandoned me. Because it was I who should've done that. I had thanked them. And I was glad I hadn't said anything more to the two of them but that.
The last thing I wanted was for all of them to be gone.

I realized the bracelet was still dangling from my wrist. But I couldn't care about it anymore.

I resisted smirking at myself. That was the point of it all.
I was never supposed to care about anything!
The window of the library was behind me now. I was outside. In the open. Which still felt closed. The sky wasn't pretty anymore. The sunset was dull and cold. The wind was harsh. Everything was rough and harsh. Again.

The nagging in my heart had won.
Bliss was never fated to last in my life.

I was running toward the huge wall.

That wall was the one that had let me fall relentlessly and right into Jake's arms. It seemed like an eternity since then. That was the day when I had foolishly given him a hint about myself. When he had foolishly stepped right into the trap.

That was also the night of the masquerade.

The night when he had me bound.
The night when Tyler had watched me.
The night when my conscience had decided to drive Jake away by letting him in.
I was stupid. I was doing the exact opposite. Jake was completely unpredictable.
Still is. And will probably always be.

And here I had thought he was finally mine.
Forgive me, Jake.

I was running down the street.

I was leaving St. Hills High behind. The school where my life had begun. I don't think it would be ending there now.
Deja vu hit me like dodge balls. I had so many memories about the night the walls of the school had loomed up in front of me. When I was lost. And it was cold. When I was frustrated about anything and everything.

Not so surprisingly, I felt the same right then. Exactly the same.

Two deaths in a row?

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