When I See You Again (gxg)

Second Chances

Never be afraid to to start over because it’s a new chance to rebuild what you want.

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"I don't know "I genuinely answered.

Should I give her another chance? Should I let her in my life again?
My mind says no but my heart completely contradicts my judgement.

"Can we at least try?" she said.

Her head still pressed in my chest.Her eyes closed while my arms enclosed her in a warm embrace.

"I'll try but I'm not going to promise anything."

My heart turned cold for the past two years but now that she's here with me. I can feel the insides of my chest slowly peeling off its ice and warming my soul. Engulfing me in a blissful reverie.

"As long as you are willing to try I'm fine with anything . I'm tired of losing you and this time I'm willing to make sure everything will be alright." Even though it's dark I can see her hazel eyes piercing through the darkness.It was filled with raw emotion and something I cannot quite comprehend.

"So friends? "she asked. Holding her pinky finger in mid air.

I intertwined my pinky with hers and answered.

"Friends "

A moment of comfortable silence nestled between us. We were basking in the presence of each other until she broke the eerie silence.

"I missed you Erin. I missed this. I missed us. " Her voice lingered in the cold dark space around us.

If only she can open up my feelings and witness how much I missed her. Words aren't enough to describe how much longing I endured without her by my side.

"I missed you too Lauren.I should be mad at you for what you did but to tell you the truth. I'm not, I'd rather be mad at myself. I'm really stupid and reckless and... " I trailed off as I thought about the things I have done in the past. All the incessant actions and impulsive decisions.

" It's not your fault " She said as she rose from her position and stared at me. I can feel her gaze boring through my soul.

"But it is. If only I suppressed my feelings.If only I didn't love you more than what I should have, we wouldn't be like this. You wouldn't have avoided me and we wouldn't be trapped in this predicament. " I countered.

If only I didn't fall for you. Was what my mind shouted.

She held her head down and whispered.

"I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry. It's all my fault. "

I caressed her cheek and lifted her chin.I directed her eyes back to mine.

"No it's not. Don't feel bad about yourself. It's  not your fault you couldn't love me and look at me the same way that I do.From the very beginning I knew that your heart doesn't beat for me like my heart does for you. But I was selfish,  I was too hopeful. I shouldn't have encouraged these feelings. I'm stupid for thinking that I have a chance with you." My heart started to ache in my chest again. I am really stupid for thinking that she can love me too.

"It's not stupid. You're not stupid. I am. If only I can love you more than what you deserve. " There's that word again. The what if's, the uncertainties,the what could've been.

"But you can't. I know that now." Her heart wouldn't be able to beat for mine like my heart does for her. I have already accepted that fact.

"I'm such a horrible friend."She said. Guilt slowly creeped through my body.

I'm the reason why our relationship ended up like this. I should be the one receiving the blame.

"You're not. You were everything I can ask for and more. I'm the one who should be ashamed of myself . What kind of friend am I? I let everything I love vanish in front of my eyes. I let our friendship crumble and most importantly-I let you slip away..." I didn't do anything. I merely watched. It was like a faraway dream.

I couldn't react. I was frozen. Dead.

A living body with no purpose.

Maybe she's right about leaving me.

"Forget it. It's all in the past. I'm just glad that you're giving us another chance. "She returned to her former position. Her head rested in my chest.

"Thank you Erin."Her hug tightened. I can feel my heart beating faster in each passing second.

Fear began to resonate in my mind. Fear that she'll be able to hear the erratic beating of my heart. Fear that she'll be able to discover the feelings I once tried to bury and hide.

"For what?"I asked while stroking her silky hair.

"For being here for me and for whisking away my fears like you always do."

I stopped for a while and answered.

"I would've done anything for you."

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I missed you guys!
Sorry the update is not that long. Promise, I'll make it up to you when I'm not that busy anymore. It's pretty hectic out here in the real world. I'm dying. Char haha

So tell me what you think.Any suggestions? Comments?

I'm actually really grateful for those who are supporting this story. You guys are the reason why I'm continuing this story even though I'm not that good in writing. But I'm working on it. Thank you for giving me the strength guyss.Love y'all.

Thank you for reading.
Xoxo