Beautiful Sorrows

The day after

I wake up with a start.

Where am I?

I look around confused,

And then I remember everything.

It hit me like a ton of bricks,

How could I of been so stupid,

To put my life at risk?

And not only my life, either.

I bite my lip, and wait.

I wait for the pounding in my head to start,

I wait for the sickening feeling

That makes me shutter with disgust.

Disgust,

Because I was the one who made that decision.

I was the one who took that drink,

Who made the wrong decision.

Mom knows best,

I guess I should of

Guessed.

Now, as I'm watching people cry over my grave,

I remember that awful day.

How I didn't fix the problem,

I only made it worse.

I'm sorry it had to be like this,

I'm sorry you have to cry.

Maybe you'd be smiling,

Instead of seeing me die.

I just wanted you to be proud, mom.

Now I know that that's impossible.

Now you have to watch your daughter

leave to the underground.

All because she choose to drink and drive.