Yours Truly

October 5, 1995

"Today was the most boringest day of my life, Uncle!" I sat on our red couch as I complained.

Uncle Dudley gave a sigh from the kitchen. He was making his usual post dinner snack of tuna crisps.

"What was it today, Kiddo? Cats, paparazzi, imaginary glitter lizards-"

"Well, you know how I went to Mark's house?"

"Yeah."

"Well, apparently he didn't want to do anything because he said he had work to do!"

"Like what?"

"Homework and chores and stupid stuff like that!"

"Well, why didn't you come home?"

"I wanted to have someone else to talk to besides you."

I heard Uncle sigh again. He rubbed his forehead and came into the living room. 

"What did I tell you about patience?"

"It's important," I echoed back. 

He changed the subject, "What did you do instead?"

"I was a ninja on the cat."

"That poor cat."

I sprang up from the couch and sprinted to my room, slamming the door behind me. A ninja, huh?  I sat at my new writing desk and wrote my newest letter in blue pen. 

******

Dear Batman,

What's it like being the only member of the League without super powers? Does it get boring for you? Do you get assigned tasks that makes everybody look cooler than you? I know if I had no powers it would be a turn off. The ladies would just be like, "You know Superman?" And I would just be like, "Yeah!" But then they would find out that I didn't have powers and breakup with me. Or they would use me to try to date the space alien hunk. I'm sorry people are power racists. And I'm sorry you don't have super powers. I'd give them to you if I could. I think you would make a good bat because you would shapeshift into one. I hope we can meet in person.

Sincerely,

Your next way cool sidekick,

William Joseph Batson

P.S. Just to make this clear to you Bats, I don't have any powers so I really could be the next Boy Wonder!