Partners for Life (svu)

Is She Really Back?

"Wow. She's, so small." a voice said. "When do you think she'll wake up?" "There's no telling. The amount of trauma and drugs and alcohol she endured, I'm surprised she's still alive. But, even if she wakes up she's not gonna be able to speak loud or walk with much strength." Said a different voice. She heard a door open "Liv, I'm so sorry this happened to you," It was Elliot. She tried to open her eyes but her eyelids were too heavy to open. "I should've been there for you. I shouldn't have left you that night I'm so sorry. But please, please wake up. I can't lose you, not again, not forever." He said sounding like he was tearing up. "El." She whispered. "Liv! You're up!" "Yeah can you get the doctor, everything hurts." She whispered as she tried to shift in the bed but failed. "Sure thing." He came back with a doctor and pain meds. "Hello detective. I know you're in a lot of pain, I'm gonna put the medicine in your IV because I don't wanna poke you again and you can't really open your mouth. These might make you feel even more drowsy so you'll be on and off with sleep." "Mmkay" she mumbled as he exited her room. "You want me to stay? If not I underst-" he was cut off when he noticed she was turning her hand on its backside and opening it. He placed his hand in it and squeezed just a tiny bit "Okay."

After two days, she could start to talk and move with less pain. On the second morning she tried to open her eyes again. "El." She said sounding relieved at first. Then she looked at herself and all the machines around her "El?!" She said again sounding scared and freaked out. "Shhhh. It's okay you're okay it's okay." He said stroking her face. Nick and Amanda came in. Nick looked down at her "Hey Liv hows it feel to get treated like a queen. All these people walking around doing as you say. Must be pretty good huh?" He said smiling at her. " Elliot shot him a 'what the hell is wrong with you' look but it disappeared when she smiled back and said with a small laugh "They're a little slow with the warm blankets, but other than that it feels nice being a queen." "Oh no,  we cannot have that, Amanda would you mind getting her some?" "Of course not." She smiled and walked out.

Nick sat down on the other side of the bed "Now Liv, you know we have to ask you some basic questions about the times and stuff, nothing serious. They were gonna get some other cops but I convinced Capt. To let me so no one is all in your business or pushing you. That okay?" She nodded and sat up in the bed as Amanda set the warm blankets on top of her. "So, first, Amanda, would you mind taking Detective Stabler our for a walk?thanks." He said as Amanda and Stabler walked out "Wait why can't I stay?" "Sorry, mandatory for no one else to be in the room." Said Amanda following behind him.

Is it really mandatory?" Asked Liv. "No, we didn't want you to be uncomfortable or have him asking too many questions. So, what's the last thing you remember  before being taken? And if you can they'd like to know when you think this was." "Um, okay. I was walking past an alley. It was a little chilly so I'm guessing it was the beginning September, yeah it was. Hey what's today?" Nick had a worried expression on his face. "It's February 17th." Nick said. "Wait what? I was gone that long? I mean I know I was gone for awhile but five months??" She asked frantically "oh my gosh" she gasped "you guys didn't spend your Christmas looking for me did you. Please say no, I hope you took a day to-" "Liv, we never stopped looking for you. We couldn't have a good day until we knew where you were and that you were safe. Christmas happens every year, it comes it goes and it comes again. But if we lost you, Liv, we wouldn't have been able to get you back." Nick said looking into her eyes and grabbing her hand. Liv took a deep breath and nodded.

Amanda and Elliot cane in just as he said that and looked at each other, both amazed at what Nick had just said and how meaningful it was. Nick saw that they had returned "You know, I'm gonna let you rest, we finish this tomorrow around noon?" He asked her "Good with me." Liv replied.

After another week, Olivia was finally released from the hospital. Cragen told her to take all the time off that she needed. She stayed at Elliot's and he and Kathleen helped her with anything and everything she needed. Eli, sweet Eli would "look after her" and just fall asleep in her arms at night, which Liv didn't mind because it helped her relax. After two weeks, she distanced herself from them. She didn't ask for help and rejected it when they offered.

"Liv, what's going on?" Elliot asked her climbing in bed. "Cmon Liv just tell me I won't get mad." She turned to look at him. Her eyes were red and tear trails were on her face "Babe what is it?" He asked sounding more concerned. She started sobbing uncontrollably "Nothing." "What? So you're crying over nothing?" She looked him in his eyes and shook her head "Yup." "What the hell Liv you really think I'm that stupid?! I heard you crying in the bathroom a couple days ago! Why the hell wont you just tell me what's wrong?!!" "WELL IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!" He looked at her shocked as she stared at the ground refusing further eye contact. "WHY?" "Im going to bed." was her only reply "Why won't you just say what's bothering you?" "I can't. You wouldn't understand." She said and started to cry again "Fine be that way." "FINE!" She turned and continued to cry. He touched her shoulder trying to comfort her "Liv look I'm sor-" she turned around and moved right in his arms pulling on his chest as she sobbed. He knew that words wouldn't be of any help so he just held her in his arms until she fell asleep.

Even after that, Liv still seemed to be hiding stuff. Elliot knew he wouldn't be able to get her to budge, but she was holding in a lot. He knew she would be different but, he didn't know just how much. She hadn't worn anything other than pants, sweatpants or long sleeve shirts since the hospital. She refused to wear anything that would show off her scars. Most of the ones on her face had healed but, the ones covering the rest of her body remained. Elliot didn't know what else to do so he turned to another woman.

"Kathleen, hey!" He called after her one day as she traveled to the kitchen "I need a favor."

Elliot had asked Kathleen to take Liv shopping and Kathleen decided to bring Amanda along as well. "So Liv see anything you like." Kathleen asked. "Um, I don't know I haven't exactly been shopping in a while." She shrugged as she walked over to the long sleeve business casual shirts and pants. Kathleen looked at Amanda and shrugged. "Ahhh Cmon Liv we always have to wear these at work. Ouu! Why don't you try this stuff over here." Amanda said walking over to the spring clothes. "It can't hurt to try." She said when she realized Liv was looking over the clothes uncomfortably.

After an hour, Liv had gotten a little more comfortable and, since it was a little store with very few people, she decided she would try on some clothes they had picked for her.

"Okay okay. This isn't so bad." She whispered looking in the mirror before walking out. "Cmon Liv!! More dog is still less covered up than that!" Said Amanda but she was right. Liv had only switched from business casual to a light jacket and jeans that hugged her body a little bit more. "I know for sure that's not what I picked out!" Laughed Kathleen. So Liv walked back in, tried on what they had picked, and walked out to show them. This cycle continued as the clothes got more and more revealing. She was about to walk out in the last outfit when she looked in the mirror.

"Oh my gosh." She said walking closer to it "ohhh. You can see a lot of my legs and stuff in these guys. I don't think I can do it." "Liv, we are not here to judge we're here to help. So come on out because I'm pretty sure you look bomb." Said Amanda emphasizing 'we'. Liv took a big gulp as she began to open the door. "See, you look pretty." Said Kathleen "the way the shirt and shorts hug your body a little and show off your tan complexion is amazing." "She's right Liv, you look good. Now! How about a dress?" Asked Amanda excitedly. "Uh maybe next time guys." Olivia said forcing a small smile "I'm gonna change out of this." She stood there and stared at herself in the mirror, grazing her hands over the skin and scars no one had seen. She took a deep breath how the hell am I supposed to get used to these? She thought as a single tear rolled down her face.