why? ❥ im jaebum

xvii

exams are around the corner, and lately i've been feeling stressed. south korean exams are really hard, so i intended that i should study really hard.

there were a few times that i didn't sleep at all and i would eventually get tired.

my mom would try to comfort me when she hears me groaning as i study. no matter how much i don't want to study, i need to pass.

chaerin nor yugyeom had not come over for the last few weeks because we were all studying. sometimes chaerin would come over and help me study but she was busy herself.

my mom was really grateful for chaerin helping me throughout those times. she really loves her.

same thing with yugyeom, she knows that he's a really sweet boy.

i called chaerin to help me study once again, but she told me that she was a little busy. but she's not studying. she's helping her mom with a couple of errands.

i heard a few knocks on my door and i hear my mom's voice saying, "[name]? mind if i come in?"

"yeah, come in."

she opens the door, and walks towards me to sit beside me. she then says, "are you okay, [name]?"

"yeah mom—i'm okay!" i slightly raise my voice at her as i have a couple of notes on my dominant hand.

"[name], listen. please don't raise your voice at me. i know you're stressed, but please don't be like how you were last year."

i took a deep breath, and i remembered what happened.

i was really angry at myself as i was studying last year's exams before i moved. i couldn't eat sleep because of it and i even cried once.

my mom told me that i needed a break and eat some dinner, but i refused. i would just bring a few bottles of water, and start studying.

i took a deep breath and my mom continues, "i know you're studying really hard. but you need to rest. you have a few days, so please eat some dinner."

"but mom—"

"[name], i'm trying to help you..i even made your favorite dinner to help you feel better. i may not have experienced the schools in south korea, but i'm telling you to stay calm. now c'mon, let's eat."

"mom, it's 11pm."

"are you hungry or not?" i hear her as she walked out of my room."

"..yeah. i'll be there in a minute." i respond as i gathered my notes together and i walk out to finally eat dinner.

although i didn't want to eat anything, i know my mom would be worried for always taking care of me.

but i don't want to worry her. but i'm grateful that my mom is helping me out..