Negans weakness

Chapter 44

*Negans POV*

I did my best to hide my emotions when Haliey was in here. I tried to act like I didn't care that she saw between me and Sherry. But when Haliey left my room my "don't give a sh*t" look went straight to sh*t. I quickly grabbed my boxers and slung the sheets off of me as I went straight to my bathroom. I slammed the door shut behind me and leaned over my sink. I took in deep breathes as I swayed over my sink. Trying calm myself down and keep me from doing something I know I will regret later.
I probably just threw away the only real thing I have left. Everybody else is scared sh*tless to even look at me in the eyes but not Haliey. She doesn't care what anybody else thinks. That's what makes her so different.       
          When I kissed her it was the first time I have ever felt that way since my wife. It was different than the feeling I get with my wives.  When I kissed her it felt like the kiss was actually mutual.
        I don't know how long I actually stayed in the bathroom but when I got out Sherry was gone. I decided that I need to go talk to Haliey. She probably wants nothing to do with me right now, but I don't care. Especially when I'm about to go make an apology.
         I put on a plain white T-shirt and my dark jeans. I put my boots on and walked over to grab Lucille but I stopped. This probably isn't the best time to bring her.
          I went to Halieys room and knocked on it. I waited for a couple seconds but nobody answered. I slowly opened the door to make sure she had all of her clothes on before I barge in there. Even though I wouldn't mind if she didn't. I peaked my head in the room but found it empty. I frowned as I shut the door back. Now where the h*ll could she be?
         
       I had to have been looking for a good fifteen minutes trying to find her. I checked all around the warehouse. Looked through all of the floors and outside, but still could not find her. I was walking around when I saw Dwight walking towards me. "Hey Dwighty boy, you seen Haliey around?" I asked slowly walking up to him. He looks around the hallway like he is trying to picture where he last saw her. "No, not in a while sir."           
             As soon as he said that I remembered that time we (mostly me) got drunk that time on the roof. That's were she is. I smirk and snap my fingers hinting that I got an idea. "I got it! Thanks for the help." I say in a sarcastic tone. I patted him hard on the shoulders as I passed him to head to the roof.
           I started making my way up the stairs. If she wasn't here then I'm having an all out search party. Flyers and everything.
             I started climbing up the ladder, my heart beat kept beating faster every time I went farther up. What was I going to do if she wasn't here? If she wasn't anywhere in the sanctuary and decided to make a run for it? My people with expect me to make an example out of her just like I did with Dwight and Sherry. But I already know for a fact I'm not going to be able to do that.
              Once I finally got up to the roof I breathed a relieving sigh when I saw her sitting down by the edge. "You know if we ever play hide and seek you're my partner." I say trying to add some comic relief to the situation. She didn't even knowledge that I was there. She just kept her eyes forward, not even batting an eye.
               I walked up to where she was sitting and sat down next to her, but didn't look at her. I took a deep breathe, "I'm sorry I have been such an a*shole." I say slowly. This might be the most serious I have been in years. And to be honest I really don't like it.
               "Which time?" She asked calmly. "All of them."  I started rubbing my hands together because I started getting nervous of what she was going to say.