Negans weakness

Chapter 45

           I chuckle at his reply. He can't actually expect me to believe that he is actually sorry for everything he has done to me. I look over and he is rubbing his hands together almost like he is nervous. "I'm being serious." He says with a straight face. For the first time he didn't have his signature smile or that fire you could see in this eyes when you looked at him.
             I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. Is he actually apologizing and being serious for once in his life? "Why are you sorry now?"
           He takes a deep breath in "When you walked in on me and Sherry, I really starting thinking. Thinkin' about how important you are to me and how much I actually care for you. I know I have not showed you how much I care for you but I do. I just wanted to set the record straight."
           Well there goes my whole "I don't give a d*mn about him attitude." I could feel that whole reality conversation I had just had with myself just go straight down the drain. As I sat there completely stunned.
          Did those words actually just come out of Negans mouth? Negan, the man who is ruthless and doesn't care about anybody but himself. I always knew Negan had a twisted crush on me, but he has that with every women he sees. I then thought back to what Amber told me that day we were in the hall. How he looks at me differently than with any of his wives. Could this actually be true? "Who are you and what did you do with Negan ?" I ask him almost being kind of serious.
          He chuckles " I know shut up."  I shake my head in disbelief. Is this really happening? "Are you stepping off that high horse of yours now?" He smirks "h*ll no, I am still going to be a bada*s!" He says with a wink. I couldn't help but chuckle at his comment.
            We sat there in for a moment not saying a word. Just thinking about all the stuff that just went down. There has to be a reason for this sudden act of kindness. What could he get out of this? And then it clicked, he just wants me to fall in love with him so I will support all that he does to Rick and them.
           It would make his life so much easier knowing he didn't have to worry about me always disagreeing with him. Or always worrying that I'm going to kill him when he least expects it.
          But what if he really is being serious about this whole thing. It's very unlikely that it is but what if there was that small possibility that he is telling the truth.
          I suddenly remembered the proposal I had for him before I walked in on him and Sherry. " I need you to make a deal with me." I ask bluntly breaking the silence. Negan looks at me with his eyebrows raised giving me a questioning. He looks at me for a couple second then reply's. "What deal?"
           I turn my gaze away from Negan because I couldn't stand looking at him as I made this deal  "I need you to promise me you won't kill any of the people I know... I already know you are going to kill some people to make a point and whatever but I need you to promise me you won't kill any people from my group when making those points." Once I was done I looked at him to try to read his facial expressions but there was nothing. Like he wasn't surprised that I asked that.
          "And what do I get in return?" He asked so monotone. I didn't answer right away. I know that what I'm agreeing to can easily turn to the worst for me. But it's a risk I am willing to take to protect the people I care about. "I'll do whatever you want."
           My heart started beating faster and faster with every second that passed as I waited for him to reply. The heart wrenching realization of what I had just promised him made my stomach twist in knots. I didn't fully realize the extent to my promise until I said it out loud. But I'm willing to do whatever it takes for the people I care about. There lives are worth more than my freedom by a long shot.
          I watched as the ends of his lips slowly curled up into a sly smile. "You have yourself a deal."