How To Love | Daniel Seavey AU

30 | admit

MY HANDS REPEATEDLY RAN through my hair as I stared at the screen of my computer, my eyes darting between the two tabs that were opened, two different roads to take but only one choice. This could change my life entirely, make or break the career I plan on taking.

"Logan, just choose which one you want to go to," my mom said as she walked by me from behind the couch to go to her room. It was the twenty-nineth, and the deadline is arriving faster than expected. "Either in Europe or South America."

"Mom, it's not that easy," I grumbled, covering my eyes with my hands, not wanting to see the names of the universities.

"Think about what you want to expect in the colleges, pros and cons—"

"I already did," I muttered. "They're both amazing, that's why I sent an application for both."

"Then choose the one that you never expected to be accepted in," she said, leaning against the wall beside her door. "How good is your french and portuguese?"

"I'll be taking the international route," I informed, "but they're both good enough."

"I don't know what to tell you, sweetie, you're making this hard for me even," she blurted out with a laugh, and I sent her a hard look. "I'm sorry, I'm not helping." She then moved to sit beside me, staring at the screen as well. "Have you tried asking Daniel for help?"

I shook my head, "He doesn't even know I got accepted into universities abroad."

I faced her to see her brows were knitted together, "Why didn't you tell him?"

"He doesn't need to know," I responded with a shrug, looking back at the screen. "I'll be in my room. I'll choose one when I feel like its final." I told her when she didn't have anything else to say. I closed my laptop, leaving it on the table and entered my room, situating myself by the window, and Ellie hopping onto my lap, pressing her paws gently on my stomach.

It honestly shouldn't be so hard to pick a college, and I ran through the pros and cons of each choice.

All I want is to be as far away from here as I possibly can. To a place that I can forget about the problems and bad memories that were created here in my life, and for at least four years, that I could feel like I have no weight on my shoulder.

Looking down to the kitten on my lap, her big eyes staring back at me, blinking once, I sent her a small smile, knowing which choice I'll be making.

⚜

It was odd for me to wake up, and not have to get ready for school. It was odd that I didn't walk into my living room to find Daniel waiting for me so he could drive us to school. It was nice though, I liked that I had a temporary change in routine.

But that didn't stop the boy from calling me early in the morning. "Let's get breakfast."

"Why?"

"Why not?" With that, I brushed my teeth and washed my face, pulling on a beanie and a thicker jacket. I hadn't talked to Daniel since the last we met, which so happened to be the last time he kissed me. It has to be the last time. I didn't like what I felt after the kiss, my lips felt... tingly after the kiss.

I awkwardly entered the passenger seat of his car, the silence that filled the air was uncomfortable, especially since the radio was off as well. I reached for it, only for Daniel to have the same idea as well, as we gently brushed hands before both of us pulling away.

Talk about awkward.

He kept his eyes on the road as I stared to the side, my eyes darting back and forth to whatever we had passed by in the car—radio still off. It was weird to have Daniel have something caught in his throat, since he'd be the first to break the ice or do whatever to keep a cheerful vibe surrounding us.